| Num | English |
|---|
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorLaughter Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimHave I ever got a serious case of
the giggles today!pageBreakanimWanna know why?delay animI got a standing
ovation last night!pageBreakfun_000D0007fun_0002000DanimBut then I woke up and realizeddelayanim
I'd just been dreaming!delayanimfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorJoy Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimanimI'm simply bursting with joy up here
on the stage today!pageBreakanimWanna know why?delay animA visitor just
complimented me!pageBreakfun_000D0007fun_0002000DanimHe told me that when he has
trouble sleepingdelay.delay.delay.delayanimhe comes to
see my show!fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorLove Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimDid you know that love makes
everything nicer?pageBreakSodelay let me tell you about my wife!delay
animShe used to bedelay the sweetest girl delayin
the whole wide world!
She used to say,delay fun_0004000Danim"Shrunk, you're my
funny honey!"fun_0005000DpageBreakanimBut these days,delay the missus says
things likedelay.delay.delay.delaypageBreak
animfun_0004000D"Don't leave ME all the housework!"fun_0005000Ddelay
animfun_0004000D"Why do you come home so LATE?!"fun_0005000Ddelay
animfun_0004000D"When is that CLUB of yours gonna
pay the bills?!"fun_0005000DdelaypageBreakanimYep,delay the missus really knows how
to make me feel like a big jokedelay.delay.delay.delaypageBreakanimButdelay little does she knowdelay.delay.delay.delayfun_000D0007fun_0002000D
animI colorcolor feeling like a big joke!fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorGlee Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimYou know,delayanim I'm SO happy right now
because I remembered something
that happened a while back!anim
animWanna know what happened? delayanimanimI had
my palm read, and the fortune-teller
said to medelay.delay.delay.delay
animfun_0004000D"Shrunk,delay your palm tells me much!delay
You are verydelay.delay.delay.delayanimDARING!"fun_0005000DdelayanimpageBreakfun_000D0007animI was happy to hear that,delay so I began
dancing around!delayfun_000E0007 animThen I said to her,
fun_0004000D"Tell me more, please!"fun_0005000Ddelay
animAnd she said, fun_0004000D"Shrunk, animI can see that
NO ONE laughs at your jokes...pageBreak"Still,delay you go on stage every day,
Shrunk!delay animIt is so DARING to be as
unfunny as you are!"fun_0005000Ddelay
animCan you believe it?delay animTHAT made me
the most daring comic in the biz?delay
fun_0002000DanimdelayanimYEAH, RIGHT!fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorAnger Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimHave I ever got a SERIOUS case of
irritation today!delaypageBreakanimWanna know why?delay animI just bought a
fortune cookie.delay When I cracked it
open,delay animfun_0004000Dthere was NO fortune inside!fun_0005000Ddelay
animSo I bought ANOTHER one.delay
animfun_0004000DIt didn't have a fortune either!fun_0005000DdelaypageBreakanimFinally, I bought a THIRD cookie.delay
I smashed it open.delay animGuess what?delay
animThere was a fortune inside!delay It saiddelay.delay.delay.delay
fun_0004000D"You will spend a fortune in
color Play Coins coloron cookies today."fun_0005000DpageBreakfun_000D0007fun_0002000DanimdelayCan youdelay BELIEVE that?!fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorAggravation Jokecolor is just the
thing to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimHave I ever got a SERIOUS case of
the ANGRIES today!delaypageBreakanimJust before coming in today,delay I was
walking past the museumdelay when I
was attackeddelay animby blue-haired ladies!
animThey crowded around me with their
cameras and wouldn't let me pass!pageBreakanimI'm thinking,delay anim"I do NOT have time
for this!delay animI can't satisfy EVERY fan
out there!"
animBut I just couldn't say no,delay so I said
animOK,delay OK,delay OK.delay This made the blue-
haired ladies animlight up with glee!delay
animBut then!delay animThey gave me their
cameras anddelay animmade me take pictures
of THEM instead!delay
fun_000D0007fun_0002000DanimdelayI'm like, delay"animUse the photo booth!"fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy old teacher's colorOutrage Jokecolor is
the thing to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimButdelay.delay.delay.delayanimI'm worried I won't be able todelay
pull it off as well as he did.delaypageBreakanimGuess I'll just have to give it a try!delaypageBreakfun_0004000DanimPrepare to see emotion in motion!delay
You shall now see animsteamdelay appear out
of nowhere!
.delay.delay.delayanimSodelay I was on my way to the train
station the other day. animfun_000B0007And THEN!delaypageBreakanimI got lost.delay Totally helpless.delay
animfun_000B0007And THEN!delaypageBreakanimanimThis lady in a fancy dress came
over and gave me directions to
the station!delay She said...delayfun_0005000D
fun_0004000D"Good sir,delay go zing that way,delay whoosh
around the corner,delay then zoom up the
hill! Ya can't miss it!"delayfun_0005000D
fun_0004000DanimI was flabbergasted!delay
animSo I said to herdelay.delay.delay.delaypageBreakfun_000D0007fun_0002000Ddelayanimsize"Hogwash, madam!"sizedelayanimfun_0005000Dfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house.fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorWorry Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimYou knowdelay.delay.delay.delayanimsometimes people say
things that can really make you feel
kinda worried.delay
animThe other day, I was walking arounddelay
and I saw an older ladydelay animtrip and fall
before my very eyes!delay
animI was delayshocked!delaypageBreakanimOf course I immediately jumped
into action to help her out.delaypageBreakanim"Ma'am,delay are you OK?"delay I asked.delay
"Did you hit your head?delay Can you say
your name and how old you are?"delay
animThen she jumped right back up
on her feet,delay animand you know what
she said?delay
animdelayfun_0004000D"Hee hee hee. delayanimYou and your friends
ask a lot of questions!delayanim"delaypageBreakfun_0005000Dfun_000D0007fun_0002000DdelayanimHmmmmmmmm.delay.delay.delay.delay.delay.fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorSighing Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimSodelay I once got some advice from a
respected man of the theater.delay
He said to medelay.delay.delay.delay
animfun_0004000D"Shrunk!delay You'll never be a hit in a
million years if all you do is
MUMBLE all the time!"fun_0005000Ddelay
animWell,delay I animALWAYS belted out my
jokes from then on out!pageBreakfun_000D0007fun_0002000DdelayanimdelayTurns out mumbling wasn't my
problem after alldelay.delay.delay.fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy old teacher's colorThought Jokecolor is
sure to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimButdelay.delay.delay.delayanimI'm worried I won't be able to
pull it off as well as he did.delaypageBreakanimGuess I'll just have to give it a try!delaypageBreakanimfun_0004000DPrepare to see emotion in motion!delay
You shall now see dotsdelay appear in
the very air!animdelay
animYou may wonderdelay.delay.delay.delay
animcan the master still summon
thought dots after all these years?delay
animDoes he still have the
concentration it takes?delaypageBreakanimOr do thought dots come only to
the spring chickens?delaypageBreakanimWatch as the master shows you how
it's done!delay animOK, here goes!delaypageBreakdelayfun_000B0007.delay.delay.delayanimWhat?!delay animI can't do it!delay
Quick, play me off!delaypageBreakfun_000D0007fun_0002000DdelayanimI wonder what I did wrong...delayfun_0005000Dfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorSadness Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimHave I ever got a serious case of
the blues today!delaypageBreakanimWanna know why?delay animI was woken up
early this morning by a voice that
came out of nowhere!
animfun_0004000D"Shrunk... Shrunk... Shrunk...!"fun_0005000DpageBreakanimYes!delay animThere was a GHOST in the
room!delay animSo I hid under the covers!pageBreakAnd then the ghost called out again!delay
fun_0004000Danim"No more...delay No more...delay
No moredelay.delay.delay.delayanimfun_000B0007JOKES!"delayfun_0005000D
animCan you believe it?delay animI'm even getting
booed from the great beyond!pageBreakfun_000D0007fun_0002000DdelayanimC'mon, ghost,delay I'm already retired.animdelay
You'd think they'd leave me alonedelay.delay.delay.fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorDistress Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimSodelay.delay.delay.delaythe other day I was at a
birthday party for my wife.pageBreakanim"Congrats!delay I feel like such a lucky
guy!delay Of all the fish in the sea,delay I
somehow caught a whale!"delaypageBreakanimThat's what I said to her.delay animAnd then
she made this really angry face and
glared at me.delay
animfun_0002000Dfun_0004000D"I'm never talking to you again!"fun_0005000Ddelay
animThat's what she said to me.fun_00090007pageBreakfun_000D0007delayanimWhat?delay Why would she say that?delay
Did I say something wrong?delay
I thought that was a compliment!fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorSorrow Jokecolor is just the thingdelay
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimSodelay.delay.delay.delaypeople often say that they
bawled their head off at the
movie theater.delay animEver hear this?delay
animBut bawling means you cry
while shouting out loud,delay animright?delaypageBreakanimI've never seen a persondelay animcry AND
scream at the movies before.delaypageBreakanimThere's weeping,delay which you can do
quietly.delaypageBreakanimYou can also quietly sob while
sniffling a lot.delaypageBreakanimThere's also that type of sobbing
where the words get stuck in your
throat but you can't stop talking.delay
animBut it would be kind of awkward to
say you wept at the movies.delay animWhy
not just say you cried a lot?delay
animHuh?delay What's with the "I don't care"
face?delay animCome on now.delay Gimme SOME
kind of reaction.delay
fun_0002000DanimIt's no fun being ignoreddelay.delay.delay.fun_00090007pageBreakfun_000D0007delay
animsizeWAAAAsizesizesizedelaysizeAAAAH!sizefun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorSurprise Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimThe other daydelay.delay.delay.delay
I bought a bag of potato chips.delaypageBreakI was happily munching on them
animwhen I noticed the package saiddelay.delay.delay.delay
anim"Now with REAL potato flavor!"
fun_000D0007fun_0002000DdelayanimdelayHey,delay I LOVE real potatoes!delay
fun_000E0007animSo what have I been eating
all these years...?fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorDisbelief Jokecolor is just the
thing to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimanimSometimesdelay people used to throw
rotten tomatoes at me if they
didn't like my jokes.
animThe lights on the stage shined in
my eyes!delay animI couldn't see a tomato
coming at me until it was too late!
Sodelay if you see me do THISanimdelay.delay.delay.delay
animIt means I'm scared a tomato is
on a direct flight to my FACE!
animfun_0002000DThat look you're giving me...
fun_000D0007delayanimDon't get any ideas!delaypageBreakfun_000E0007animcolorI really shouldn't use this joke
anymore. Much too dangerous...colorfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorShocked Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimSo the other daydelay.delay.delay.delayI was walking
around in my neighborhood, animand I
noticed a small boy.delay
animHe was trying really hard to reach
the doorbell on one of the houses.delay
animHe just couldn't get it, though.delay
animThat's why I thought I'd be nice
and press it for him.delay
animYou know—delayding dong! delay
animThen the kid suddenly ran off!delay
fun_0002000Dfun_0004000DanimClassic delaydidelayng-delaydodelayngdelay ditch!fun_0005000Ddelay
fun_000D0007delayanimBut I forgot to run!fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorCold Chill Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimSo,delay umdelay.delay.delay.delayis it just me,delay oranim is it cold in
here tonight?!delaypageBreakEeeep!animdelay I just felt it again!pageBreakanimdelayAh!delay I know what it is!delay fun_0002000Dfun_000D0007delayanimIt's the ice-
cold stares I'm getting!delay delayanimEeeeep!delaypageBreakfun_000E0007delayanimcolorI never really liked that joke...colorfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorFearful Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimEver had a terrible case of stage
fright?delay Where youdelay.delay.delay.delayjustdelay.delay.delay.delayanimstop and
shake uncontrollably?delay
animDr. Shrunk has the cure for you!delaypageBreakanimJust trick yourself into thinking
you're shaking for some OTHER
reason instead!
animLike,delay animmaybe you have a nasty
brain freeze!delay animEeeep!delaypageBreakanimOr maybe you swallowed a fly
by accident!delay animUrk!delaypageBreakanimOr maybedelay.delay.delay.delay animEr,delay maybedelay.delay.delay.delaypageBreakanimMaybe someone in the audiencefun_0002000D is
about to BOO you off the stage!delay
fun_000D0007delayanimOOOOOH! NOOOOO!fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy old teacher's colorAgreement Joke
coloris sure to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimButdelay.delay.delay.delayanimI'm worried I won't be able todelay
pull it off as well as he did.delaypageBreakanimGuess I'll just have to give it a try!delaypageBreakfun_0004000DanimThere's something really stuck in
my craw.delay animIt's that youngsters never
listen these days!
animSo here's how to pay attention!delay
animSit still.delay Be patient.delay Clean the wax
out of your ears.
And nod your head the whole time
to show that you're following along.delay
animLike thisdelay.delay.delay.delay
animUh-huh!delay animInteresting!delay
animI see!delay animOf course.delay animOh yes!delaypageBreakfun_000D0007.delay.delay.animdelayRight.delay animYepdelay.delay.delay.delay
.delay.delay.animdelayMmmm-delayhmmmmdelay.delay.delay.delayfun_000E0007
.delay.delay.delayfun_0002000DanimMmmmfun_0005000Ddelay.delay.delay.fun_00090007
delaycolorZzzcolorcolorcolordelaycolorzzzdelayzzzdelayzzz...colorfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy old teacher's colorInspiration Jokecolor is
sure to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimButdelay.delay.delay.delayanimI'm worried I won't be able to
pull it off as well as he did.delaypageBreakanimGuess I'll just have to give it a try!delaypageBreakfun_0004000DanimPrepare to see emotion in motion!delay
You shall now seeanim inspiration in the
very air!
animUhhdelay.delay.delay.delay animWhat was I going to do?pageBreakanimI had a great scene that I just
thought ofdelay.delay.delay.delaypageBreakanimOh nodelay.delay.delay.delay animWhat was it?pageBreakfun_0002000Dfun_000D0007animOh!delay That's right!delay animOh, wait.delay
animNo.delay animI lost it again.delaypageBreakfun_000E0007animQuick! Turn off the lights!fun_0005000Dfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorCuriosity Jokecolor is just the
thing to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimHave I ever got a serious case of
the what-in-the-worlds today!pageBreakanimWanna know why?delay animIt's all because of
something my kid said last night!pageBreakanimSodelay he hears a knock, right?delay And he
goes to the door and shouts,delayanimfun_0004000D "Who
IS it?"fun_0005000Ddelay animJust like I taught him, right?
animAnd a woman on the other side
yells,delayfun_0004000D anim"I'm selling candy!delay animMay I speak
to the HEAD of this household?"fun_0005000D
animAnd what does HE say?delay
animGet this!pageBreak
fun_000B0007fun_0002000Dfun_0004000Danim"My MOM is out right now!"fun_0005000D
animMy own kid says that! fun_000D0007delayanimCan you
BELIEVE it?!delay I mean, what in
the world?!fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house.fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorHeartbreak Jokecolor is just the
thing to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimYou know,delay I've never forgottenanim my
first heartbreak.pageBreakanimBack then,delay animI was just a little Shrunk
in kindergarten!pageBreakFor Valentine's Day,delay we all swapped
cards!delay animAnd I really poured my heart
out to this girl I liked!
animI watched in class as she slowly
opened my carddelay.delay.delay.delayfun_00090007pageBreakfun_0002000DanimThen she broke out laughing!delay
animShe said she'd never read anything
SO funny in her life!delay animGreat,delay except...
fun_000D0007delayanimdelayIt was the one time I ever DIDN'T
want to make someone laugh.fun_00090007pageBreakfun_000E0007animI guess it's true that tragedy is
at the heart of all true comedy.fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house.fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorSleepy Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimHave you heard?delay
animYawnsdelay animare contagious.delaypageBreakThere was one day,delay years ago,delay
animwhen I was performing in front
of a totally packed audiencedelay.delay.delay.delaypageBreakanimWell,delay uh,delay "packed" might be
a tiny exaggerationdelay.delay.delay.delaypageBreakanimI was performing in front of a good
number of people,delay animso I thought I'd
share a special joke I'd been saving.delay
animJust then,delay some big guy sitting
smack-dab in the middle of the
audience animlet out a HUGE yawn!
animThen it started to spread.delay From row
to row,delay the yawn caught on and got
closer and closer untildelay.delay.delay.fun_00090007
fun_000D0007fun_0002000Danimdelay
delaysizeYAWWWWN...sizesize
sizefun_00090007sizesize
sizesizefun_000E0007sizesizesize.delaysize.delay.delayanimHuh? What?delay
animcolorWhich joke was I doing againcolordelaycolorcolorcolor.delay.delay.fun_00090007colorfun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy old teacher's colorBashfulness Joke
coloris sure to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimButdelay.delay.delay.delayanimI'm worried I won't be able to
pull it off as well as he did.delaypageBreakanimIn fact,delay it might not make any sense
at all,delay come to think of it.delayanimanim Guess I'll
just have to give it a try anyway!delay
fun_0004000DanimPrepare to see emotion in motion!delay
animYou shall now see embarrassment
appear in the very air!anim
delay.delay.delay.delayanimI was talking to my youngest
daughter the other day.delayfun_000B0007 animAnd THEN!pageBreakanimShe said that she thought I was 110
years old!delay animfun_000B0007And THEN!pageBreakfun_000D0007animI got very embarrassed!delayfun_0002000D animI mean,delay
110?!delay animDo I really look that
YOUNG to you?! colorcolorfun_0005000Ddelayfun_000E0007
animcolorOh wow. I'm embarrassed to even
use that joke.colorfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorResignation Jokecolor is just the
thing to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimThe other daydelay.delay.delay.delay
animI ran into an old buddy of minedelay.delay.delay.delaypageBreakanimHe used to say,delay "fun_0004000DThisdelayanim company isn't
grand enough for a man like me.delay
animSomeday I'll show them and quit!"fun_0005000Ddelay
animWell,delay animyou know what I said to him?delayfun_00090007
fun_000D0007fun_0002000Ddelayanim"Could I just get fries with that?"fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorMischief Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimHave I ever got a serious case
of the up-to-no-goods today!pageBreakanimWanna know why?delay
animYeah,delay I BET you would!pageBreakanimHey,delay do you have something
on your nose theredelay.delay.delay.delay?pageBreak
fun_000D0007fun_0002000DdelayanimPsych! delayGotcha!fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorDelight Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimSo guess whatdelay.delay.delay.?delay
animI was thinking I'd show you
a brand-new joke today!delay
animHow 'bout it?delay Ready?delay
animLet's hear a rousing round
of applause for the joke!delay
animC'mon!delay Who wants to hear
my new joke?!delay fun_000D0007delayanimJust clap!delayfun_00090007pageBreakfun_000E0007animdelayanimCome on.delay If you want to hear it,delay
fun_000D0007delayanimclap!delay Clap clap clap!delayfun_00090007pageBreakfun_000E0007fun_0002000Danimdelay
animdelayNo?delay Not even a little?fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorSneezing Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!delay animUnless what
ails you is the SNIFFLES!fun_00090007
animMy grandma used to tell me that
when you sneeze,delay it means someone
is talking about you.delay
animI used to be pretty popular back in
the day,delay so I got used to people
talking about me here and there.delay
animIt hasn't really happened since
I retired, thoughdelay.delay.delay.fun_00090007pageBreakfun_000D0007anim
sizeAsizesizesizefun_000B0007sizeCHOOOO!size
fun_00090007
fun_000E0007animHuh?!delay Could it be that someone out
theredelayanim is talking about me?!pageBreakfun_00090007
fun_000D0007sizeanimAsizesizesizefun_000B0007sizeCHOOO!delaypageBreak
animAfun_000B0007CHOOOOOOO!sizefun_00090007pageBreak
fun_000E0007delayanimSee?!delay They must be!fun_00090007pageBreak
fun_000D0007animsizesizeAsizesizesizefun_000B0007sizeCHOOO!sizedelaypageBreaksize
animsizeAsizesizesizefun_000B0007sizeCHOOO!sizesizedelayfun_00090007pageBreakfun_0002000Dsize
animsizeAfun_000C0007CHOOO!sizefun_00090007pageBreakanimcolorUh-oh. Maybe it's my human
allergies coming back againcolorcolorcolordelaycolor.delay.delay.colorfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorGreetings Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimYou see, the other daydelay.delay.delay.delayas I was
walking down the street,delay animsomeone
was walking my way and smiling.delay
anim"Huh?delay Who are theydelay.delay.delay.delay?"anim is what I
thought to myself.pageBreakAll of a sudden,delay the person saysdelay
fun_000D0007delayanim"Long time no see!"delayfun_000E0007anim to me.delaypageBreakI figured it would be rude not to
respond,delay so I did adelay fun_000D0007delayanim"Hey, long
time no see!"delayfun_000E0007animdelay right back.delay
animBut then that person walked right
past me fun_0002000Dand stopped to talk animto
someone walking behind medelay.delay.delay.
animGuess it'll be a bit longer until we
see each other.fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorPride Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimSodelay.delay.delay.delayI remembered this really funny
joke my teacher used to tell.delay
animDo you want to hear it?delay
animHeedelay hee heedelay tee hee heedelay!
animAh, delaysorry, delaysorry.delay animJust thinking
about it makes me laugh.delay
animWell,delay animare you ready to hear
this great joke?delaypageBreakanimThere are two kinds of people
in this world...fun_00090007pageBreak
fun_000D0007fun_0002000DanimsizeThose who can count...fun_00090007pageBreak
And those without!sizefun_00090007pageBreakanimcolorOH NO!colorcolorcolordelaycolor animI messed up the jokedelay.delay.delay.colorfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| |
| |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorSheepishness Jokecolor is just the
thing to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimSodelay.delay.delay.delaythis story is from back when
I was still doing stand-up comedy
as my day-to-day job.delay
One daydelay I practiced so much,
animI pretty much lost my voice.pageBreakanimMy teacher came to my house
to see how I was doing.delaypageBreakHe told my son,delay anim"Your dad's a little
hoarse today."delaypageBreakanimMy son thought about itdelay and said,delay
fun_0002000Danim"He looks more like an axolotl than
a horse to me!"delay
fun_000D0007delayanimdelayRuns in the family, I tell yadelay.delay.delay.delay.delay.delay.fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorSunniness Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimHere's a fun little fact for youdelay.delay.delay.delay
animThere's nothing more important to
a comediandelay animthan a big smile.delay
animEven if you have an ugly mug,delay
you need to have a big smile.delaypageBreakanimThere's nothing that charms people
more than smiles on faces of any
shape or level of attractiveness.delay
That's why I'm animso good at capturing
the hearts of my audience.delay
animWanna see how a pro does it?delay
animHere's a taste,delay animso watch closely.pageBreakdelayanimThank you!delay Thank you!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!
fun_000D0007delayfun_0002000DanimdelaycolorHuh?colorcolorcolordelaycolor It's not workingdelay.delay.delay.colorfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorShyness Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimThis story is from back before the
missus and I got hitcheddelay.delay.delay.delay
animIt was truly love at first sight.delay
animSo one day I gathered up all my
courage and decided to propose to
her!delay animYeah!delay animIt went great!delay
fun_000D0007delayanimUmdelay...welldelay.delay.delay.delaythe truth isdelay.delay.delay.delay I, umdelay.delay.delay.delay
I mean, delaywhat I want to say isdelay.delay.delay.fun_00090007
fun_000E0007animI just couldn't spit it out.delay
animI was standing there squirming,delay
animand she looked at me and said,delay
fun_0002000Danimdelayfun_0004000D"I'm sorry,delay who are you?"fun_0005000Ddelay
animdelayIt took three months to get up the
nerve to try again...colorfun_00090007colorfun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorDisagreement Jokecolor is just the
thing to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimHave you hearddelay.delay.delay.delayanimthat gestures can
mean different things in different
countries?delay animIt's true!
Recently, I learned something
interesting about the gesture
of animshaking your head like this.delay
animWe think of it as delayfun_000D0007delayanim"No, delaythat's not
true"delay fun_000E0007delayanimwhen we shake our head
left and right.delay
animBut for people in other parts of
the world, it meansdelay fun_000D0007delayanim"Yes, delaythat's
right."delay fun_000E0007delayanimConfusing, huh?delay
animWhat do you think?delay
animAre you surprised to hear that?delaypageBreakanimMy stories are always both really
funny and highly educational!delaypageBreakanimHey now!fun_00090007pageBreakfun_0002000DanimEveryone in the audience doesn't
need to agreedelay animall at oncedelay.delay.delay.fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorMistaken Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimI've got a special treat for you
todaydelay.delay.delay.delay Or rather,delay animI've got a riddle
for you that'll animblow your mind!animdelay
animListen carefully now!delay
animAre you ready?delay Here goes!delaypageBreakanimcolorBecausecolorcolorcolordelay sevendelay atedelay ninecolor!colordelaypageBreakfun_0002000D.delay.delay.delayanimAck!delayfun_00090007 fun_000D0007delayanimOh no!delay
I said the punch line first!delayfun_00090007pageBreakcolorWhy is sixcolorcolorcolordelaycolor afraid of sevendelay.delay.delay.delay
Why is sixdelay afraid of sevendelay.delay.delay.delay
And why IS sevendelay eating ninedelay.delay.delay.delay?colorfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorFlourish Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimWell, you seedelay.delay.delay.delayanimI used to be a great
reaction comedian a while back.pageBreakanimSodelay animof course I had a powerful gag
to use when I really hit a home run.delaypageBreakanimI'm going to give you an extra-
special treat and let you see it
today!delay animWatch carefully!delay
Are you ready?delay animHere I go!delayfun_00090007pageBreakfun_000D0007delayanim
That was SdelayPdelayIdelayNdelayteresting!fun_00090007pageBreakfun_000E0007animdelayanimWhat do you think?delay
Wanna see it again?fun_00090007pageBreakfun_000D0007delayanim
That was SdelayPdelayIdelayNdelayteresting!fun_00090007pageBreakfun_000E0007animdelayWell?delay Pretty easy, right?delay
fun_0002000DdelayanimcolorI wonder why colorcolorit never caught ondelay.delay.delay.colorfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorDaydreaming Jokecolor is just the
thing to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimYou knowdelay.delay.delay.delayanimthe lottery can really
get you dreaming.delaypageBreakanimIf I won first prize,delay fun_000D0007animI'd buy a yacht,delay
and then get a hot tub for my yacht,delay
and some sort of robot butlerdelay.delay.delay.delay
Maybe take the missus on vacation.delay
Would she like a tropical island?delay
Or perhaps a mountain hot spring?delay
fun_000E0007animThinking about all those exciting
possibilities really gets me jazzed!delaypageBreakanimHmmm?delay animWhen do they announce the
results of the lottery?delay fun_0002000DanimdelayI don't know.pageBreakI was so busy daydreaming that
I forgot to buy a ticketdelay.delay.delay.fun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorShowmanship Jokecolor is just the
thing to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimYou knowdelay.delay.delay.delayanimback when I first made
my debut,delay animthere was a catchphrase
I always used during every show.delay
animIt was back when all I could think
about was getting peopledelay animto actually
remember my name.delay
animToday I'll share that catchphrase
with you,delay so listen carefully,delay keep
your eyes on me,delay and remember it!delay
animAre you ready?delay animHere I go!delaypageBreak
animdelayfun_0004000DLook delay at delay the hunk!fun_0005000Danimdelayfun_00090007pageBreak
fun_000D0007fun_0002000DsizeHis namedelayfun_0004000D isdelay The Shrunk!fun_0005000Ddelaysizefun_00090007pageBreakfun_000E0007animIt didn't win me any fans for some
strange reasondelay.sizedelaysize.sizedelaysize.sizesizefun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorSpecial Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimYou know what?delay animI've told you
all the jokes I actually know.delaypageBreakanimI think you have enough jokes
to become a top-class reaction
comedian now.delay animCongrats!delayanimdelay
animTo celebrate your debut...delay Well, delayit's
not a joke,delay animbut I'm going to teach
youdelay animthe colorShrunk Funk Shufflecolor!delay
animWatch carefully and remember it!delay
animAre you ready?delay animHere I go!delaypageBreakfun_000D0007delayanimIt's delay1delay and 2,delay step,delay step!fun_00090007pageBreakfun_000E0007delayYou gotta get your hips swinging!delaypageBreakStep,delay step!fun_00090007pageBreakfun_000D0007delayAll eyes will be on you if you do
the Shrunk Funk Shuffle!fun_00090007pageBreakfun_000E0007fun_0002000DdelayanimdelayWhew. I need to stop.delay
colorI'm feeling my yearscolorcolorcolordelaycolor.delay.delay.colorfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
| animThank you!delay Thank delayyou!delay
animDr. Shrunk is in the house!fun_00090007pageBreakanimMy colorSpecial Jokecolor is just the thing
to CURE what ails you!fun_00090007pageBreakanimYou know what?delay animI've told you
all the jokes I actually know.delaypageBreakanimI think you have enough jokes
to become a top-class reaction
comedian now.delay animCongrats!delayanimdelay
animTo celebrate your debut...delay Well, delayit's
not a joke,delay animbut I'm going to teach
youdelay animthe colorShrunk Funk Shufflecolor!delay
animWatch carefully and remember it!delay
animAre you ready?delay animHere I go!delaypageBreakfun_000D0007delayanimIt's delay1delay and 2,delay step,delay step!fun_00090007pageBreakfun_000E0007delayYou gotta get your hips swinging!delaypageBreakStep,delay step!fun_00090007pageBreakfun_000D0007delayAll eyes will be on you if you do
the Shrunk Funk Shuffle!fun_00090007pageBreakfun_000E0007fun_0002000DdelayanimdelayWhew. I need to stop.delay
colorI'm feeling my yearscolorcolorcolordelaycolor.delay.delay.colorfun_00090007fun_0002000D |
