| Num | English |
|---|
| Thank you! pauseThank you!pause
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house!
reactionAnd if you're SICK of the
same old blabbity-blab,pause
have I got a CURE for you!
reactionYeah? pauseYeah? pauseYou can't
wait, pauseright? pauseHello?! |
| reactionpauseWow, rough crowd! pauseWell,
there's no better way to
break through the blahspause.pause.pause.
reactionThan to tell you one of my
colorexciting jokescolor!pause Yep, that's
what the doctor ordered!pause
You DID come to hear one
of my colorexciting jokescolor, right?pause
colorreactionfun_06Eeep, maybe not!colorfun_06
reactionAnyway, pauseget ready to feel
the excitement! |
| OK then! pauseAhem!pressButton
reactionfun_06colorI'm bombing up here!fun_06 |
| reactionSo?pause See what I did there?pressButton
reactionfun_06KAPOW! pauseRight? pauseRight?!pause
colorreactionfun_06I'm putting 'em to sleep!colorfun_06
reactionAnd YOU can do it, too!pressButton
That coloremotion colorI just used
has been added to your
colorfun_00 keyboard windowcolor!
Use that coloremotion coloron your
friends! pausereactionPut some fun_06KAPOW
in conversations!
reactionNow, wasn't that the best
color800 Bells coloryou ever spent?pressButton
You'll knock 'em dead with
that emotion! |
| Thank you! pauseThank you!pause
reactionNo, pauseno, pauseyou're TOO kind!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| fun_08 |
| reactionThank you! pauseThank you!pause
And thank YOU!
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house! |
| reactionThank you! pauseThank you!pause
And thanks to that special
someone out there! pauseI think
you KNOW who you are!
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house! |
| Thank you! pauseThank you!pause And a
HUGE shout-out to my
number one fan out there!
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house! |
| Ready pausefor pausea pausereactionpausethrill? |
| Then colorFrillard'scolor classic shtick
will do the trick! pauseNow, pauseI'd like
complete silence as I beginpause.pause.pause. |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Um, pauseahem. |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the angries today!
Just before the show, pauseI was
hurrying into the colorMarqueecolor
when I was broadsidedpause.pause.pause.pause
by blue-haired ladies!
They crowded around me
with their cameras! pauseAnd
wouldn't let me pass!
I'm thinking, I do NOT have
time for this! I can't satisfy
EVERY fan out there!pause
But I just couldn't say no,
so I said OK, pauseOK, pauseOK.pressButton
The blue-haired ladies lit
up with glee!
But, then! pausereactionThey gave me
their cameras and made me
take pictures of THEM!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT!! |
| Did I ever get a serious
shock today!
Wanna know why? pauseI was
looking in the mirror
when my jacket saidpause.pause.pause.pause
reactionI make IT look tacky!
reactionThe doctor ispausereaction OUT!
|
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the giggles today!
Wanna know why? pauseI got a
standing ovation last night.pause
reactionBut then I woke up and
realized I'd been dreaming!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| Hold on.pause.pause.pausepause What the hey?!pause
reactionThis was supposed to be a
rehearsal! pauseDrop the curtain!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
outrage in the very air!
pause.pause.pause.pauseSo, I was on my way to
the train station the other
day. pauseAnd fun_06THEN!
I got lost. pauseTotally helpless.pause
And fun_06THEN!
This lady in a fancy dress
came over and gave me
directions to the station!pause
She saidpause.pause.pause.
"Good sir, pausego colorzing colorthat way,pause
colorwhoosh coloraround the corner,pause
then colorzoom colorup the hill!"
reactionI was flabbergasted! pauseSo I
said to herpause.pause.pause.pause
reactionsize"Hogwash, madam!" |
| Did I ever have a serious
panic attack yesterday!
I was getting off the buspausereaction
when I realized that I left
my notebook on my seat!
reactionEverything was OK, though.pause
Because I just ran back
in the bus and grabbed it.
But fun_06WOW, did I panic for a
second there!
reactionI know,pause you're probably
wondering why I'd freak
out over a silly notebook.pause.pause.pause
reactionBut that notebook is where
I've jotted down my joke
ideas for YEARS!
It's the most precious
thing in the world to me!
reactionEver since the bus incident,pause
I've kept it in my jacket
pocket at ALL TIMES, pauseso
I'll never lose it again!
See? pauseIt's right herepause.pause.pause.pause
reactionWhat? pauseWhere is it?reaction
reactionWhere'd it go?pause Hey, this
ISN'T funny!reaction
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| Ever had a terrible case of
stage fright? pauseWhere youpause.pause.pause.pause
justpause.pause.pause.pausereactionstop and shake?
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor has the cure for
you! pauseJust trick yourself into
thinking you're shaking for
some OTHER reason!
Like, maybe you have brain
freeze!pause reactionEep!
reactionOr, maybe you swallowed a
fly by accident!pause reactionUrk!
reactionOr, maybepause.pause.pause.pauseer, maybepause.pause.pause.pause
Maybe someone in the
audience is about to BOO
you off the stage! pausereactionAargh!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| I've got the perfect cure
for those times when you
just want to cry!
Can-do attitude! And I take
THAT medicine each time I
step onstage!pause
Because sticks and stones
may break my bones,pause but
words can never hurt me!pause
Ha! pauseSo, just TRY to say
that my jokes stink!
fun_06C'mon, try itpause.pause.pause.pausefun_06pause
fun_06I'm waitingpause.pause.pause.pausefun_06pause
fun_06pause.pause.pause.pauseC'MON, I gotta show you!pausefun_06pause
fun_06fun_06Please?pausefun_06fun_06
fun_06pausereactionWaaaah!pause I hate the silent
treatment!fun_06
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| Umpause.pause.pause.is it just me? pausereactionOr is it
cold out here?!
Eeeep! pausereactionThere it is again!pause
I know what it is! pauseYour
chilly stares! pauseEeeep!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| I'm just bursting with joy
up here today!
Wanna know why? pausereactionA visitor
just complimented me! pause
He said that my best jokepause.pause.pause.pause
is when I tell NO joke!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the what-the-heys
today!
Wanna know why? pauseIt's all
because of something my
kid said last night!
So, pausehe hears a knock, right?pause
And he goes to the door
and shouts, "Who IS it?"pause
Like I taught him, right?
And a woman on the other
side yells, pause"I'm selling
candy! pauseMay I speak to the
HEAD of this household?"
And what does HE say?pause
Get this!!
"My fun_06MOM is out right now!"
My own kid says that! pausereactionCan
you BELIEVE it?!
I mean, pausereactionwhat the hey?!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT? |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pausereactionYou shall now see
inspiration in the very air!
pauseUpausehpausehpause.pause.pause.pause Now, what was I
going to do?pause
Ipause hadpause apause greatpause scenepause thatpause Ipause
justpause thoughtpause ofpause.pause.pause.pause
Ohpause nopause.pause.pause.pause What was it?fun_06
reactionpauseOh! That's right!pause reactionOh, wait,
no!pause Lost it again! pause
It's curtains for me! |
| You know, I'm SO happy
right now that Ipause.pause.pause.pausereactionjust gotta
show it!
Wanna know why? pauseBecause
I had my palm read, pauseand
the fortune-teller saidpause.pause.pause.
reaction"colorShrunkcolor, your palm tells me
much! You are verypause.pause.pause.pause
DARING!"
reactionI was happy to hear that,pausereaction
so I began dancing around!pause
Then I said to her, "Tell me
more, please!"
reactionAnd she said, "colorShrunkcolor, I
can see that NO ONE
laughs at your jokespause.pause.pause."
"Still, pauseyou go on stage every
day, colorShrunkcolor! pauseIt is so
DARING to be that unfunny!"
Can you believe it?! pauseI'm the
most daring comic in the
biz! pauseYEAH!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
thought in the very air!
You may wonderpause.pause.pause.
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseCan the master still
summon thought dots after
all these years?
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseDoes he still have the
concentration it takes?
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseOr do thought dots come
only to the spring chicken?
reactionpauseWatch as the master shows
you how it's done!pause
Here goes!fun_06
pausefun_06What?! pausereactionI can't do it!pause
Quick, drop the curtain!
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseI wonder what I did
wrong? |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the blues today!
Wanna know why? pauseIt all
started at midnight last
night!
I was trying to fall asleep,
so I was counting sheep:pause
98pause.pause.pause.pause99pause.pause.pause.pause100!
And just THEN, pauseI heard a
voice out of nowhere!
color"Shrunkpause.pause.pause.pauseShrunkpause.pause.pause.pauseShrunk!"color
Yes! There was a GHOST in
the room! pauseSo, I hid under
the covers!
And then the ghost called
out again!
color"No morepause.pause.pause.pauseno morepause.pause.pause.pause"
"No morepause.pause.pause.pausefun_06JOKES!"color
pausereactionCan you believe it? pauseI even
get booed from the beyond!pause
Sigh. The doctor ispausereaction OUT. |
| pauseYou know, I've never
forgotten my first
heartbreak!
Back then, I was just a
little colorShrunkcolor in
kindergarten!
For Valentine's Day, we all
exchanged cards! pauseAnd I
really poured my heart out
to this girl I liked!
I watched in class as she
opened my cardpause.pause.pause.
She broke out laughing!pause
She said she never read
anything SO funny!
reactionpauseIt's the one time in life I
really DIDN'T want to make
someone laugh.
Yep, the doctor ispausereaction OUT. |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the up-to-no-goods
today!
Wanna know why? pauseYeah, I
BET you would!
pausereactionPsych! pauseGotcha!
Heh! The doctor ispausereaction OUT!
|
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
sleepiness in the very air!
fun_06pause.pause.pause.pause
pause.pause.pause.pause
pause.pause.pause.pause
pause.pause.pause.pauseNowpause who's pausesleepy?
pause.pause.pause.pauseYoupause or pauseme?fun_06fun_06
reactionYawn. pauseTime for my nap. |
| Did you know that love
makes everything nicer?
So, let me tell you about
my wife! pauseShe used to be
the sweetest girl in the
wholepause wide pauseworld!
She used to say, "colorShrunkcolor,
you're my funny honey!"
But these days, the missus
says things likepause.pause.pause.
reaction"Get a fun_06REAL job, colorShrunkcolor!"
"What kind of doctor fun_06ARE
you, anyway?!"
"Your jokes make people
feel fun_06QUEASY!"
reactionYep, the missus really
knows how to make me feel
smallpause.pause.pause.pause
pauseBut I gotta admitpause.pause.pause.pausereactionthat's
what I colorfun_00color about my wife!
Yeah! The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| I'd like to discuss a verypause
serious pausetopic.
reactionHappiness!pause reactionOh, yes.
In fact, pauseif you ask me what
I seriously think is the
MOST serious issue of our
day, pauseI'd saypause.pause.pause.
reactionHappiness!pause reactionSerious, right?
Now, I don't mean to bring
everyone down, pausebut I truly
believe there's ONE word
that sums it all up.
pause.pause.pause.pausereactionOrange!
reactionHuh?! pauseOrange you glad I
didn't say "happiness"
again?
reactionThe doctor ispausereaction OUT!
|
| Have I ever got a serious
case of irritation today!
Wanna know why? pauseI just
bought a fortune cookie.pressButton
When I cracked it open,pause
reactionthere was NO fortune!
reactionSo I bought ANOTHER one.pressButton
reactionIt didn't have a fortune
either!
reactionI bought a THIRD cookie.pause
I smashed it open.pause
Guess what?pause There was a
fortune inside! pauseIt said...
colorYou pausewill pausespend pausea pausefortune pauseonpause
cookies pausetoday.color
reactionCan you BELIEVE that?!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| You know, pauseI'm sick with
worry that my routine isn't
funny enough.
I just made it up last night
at home! pauseI was practicing in
front of the mirror, pauseand it
went something like thispause.pause.pause.
pause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
Then my wife suddenly
yelled, "fun_06colorShrunkcolor, take out
the garbage!"
reactionI really needed to rehearse,pause
so I started againpause.pause.pause.
reactionpause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
"fun_06colorShrunkcolor, take out that
garbage! It STINKS!"
reactionI worried that I'd stink if I
didn't practice, so I ignored
her and tried againpause.pause.pause.
reactionpause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
"fun_06colorShrunkcolor, take out that
garbage now! It REEKS!"
reactionSo, I took it out.pressButton Anyway, I
hope that you like my new
routine. pausereactionHere we go!
pause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
pause.pause.pause.pauseAnd that's all I got done
last night.
reactionSee, I told you I was
worried about it.
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
embarrassment in the very
air!
pause.pause.pause.pauseI was talking to my
youngest daughter this
morning. pauseAnd fun_06THEN!
She said that she thought
I was 110 years old!pause
And fun_06THEN!
reactionI got very embarrassed!pause
I mean, 110?!pressButton Do I really
look that YOUNG?! |
| Sometimes people throw
rotten tomatoes at me if
they don't like my jokes.
The lights up here shine in
my eyes! pauseI can't see a
tomato coming at me until
it's too late!
So, if you see me do THISreaction.pause.pause.pause
It means I'm scared a
tomato's flying at my face!
reactionEeek! reactionNo! pauseSee, it happened
right then again!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT of here!
|
| But wait. pauseThere's something
really stuck in my craw. pause
It's that youngsters never
listen these days!
So, pausehere's how to pay
attention!
Sit still. pauseBe patient. pauseClean
the wax out of your ears.
reactionAnd nod your head the
whole time to show that
you're following along.pause
Like thispause.pause.pause.
reactionUh-huh! pauseInteresting!pause
I see!pause Of course.pause pauseReally?
reaction.pause.pause.pauseRight. pauseYep.pause Mmmm-hmmm.pause
Mmmmmm.pause Mmm.
pauseZpausezpausezpausezpausezpausezpausezpausezpause.pause |
| Let me tell you,pause I don't
always have folks coming
out to see me like this.
But it's good to know
some people really like
my jokes!
So,pause if I can get enough
love from this audience,pause
I'll premiere my new jokepause
right here and now!
reactionHow 'bout it?pause Ready?pause
Let's hear a rousing round
of applause!
C'mon! Who wants to hear
my new joke?!pause Just clap!pause
fun_06C'mon, clap!reactionpausefun_06
reactionpauseHello? pausereactionClap! pauseJust a little? |
| So, pauseI was talking to a
cranky old friend the other
day. He saidpause.pause.pause.
reaction"I am fun_06NOT going to end my
career stuck in this dump!"
"I will fun_06QUIT before I see my
good name ruined by this
claptrap theater!"
reactionThe funny thing about my
cranky friend ispause.pause.pause.pausehe's
already retired!
reactionSheesh! pauseWhat he needs is a
crank adjustment!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT. |
| So, pauseI once got some advice
from a respected man of
the theater. pauseHe saidpause.pause.pause.
fun_06"colorShrunkcolor! pauseYou'll never be a
hit in a million years if you
fun_06MUMBLE all the time!"
And I've always belted out
my gags ever since!
reactionpauseNot that it helps.
The doctor ispausereaction OUT.
|
| reactionHey! pauseWhat an eye-opener
I had today! pauseWanna know
why?
reactionIt all started when I hired
an assistant to clean my
jacket. pausePeople throw a LOT
of rotten tomatoes at me!
Anyhoo, pausethe stage
manager said he thought
the kid I hired was GREAT!
My manager told me all
sorts of stuff about the
kid I didn't know!
Like reactionthat he'd won the
amateur comedy prize for
several years in a row!
reactionAnd reactionthat he has a huge
fan base of his own!
reactionAnd then my manager said
the most surprising thing of
all!
That maybe I should bepause.pause.pause.pausereaction
my assistant's assistant!
reactionThe doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
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| NPC_shisho.gmm |
| Thank you! pauseThank you!pause
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house!
reactionAnd if you're SICK of the
same old blabbity-blab,pause
have I got a CURE for you!
reactionYeah? pauseYeah? pauseYou can't
wait, pauseright? pauseHello?! |
| reactionpauseWow, rough crowd! pauseWell,
there's no better way to
break through the blahspause.pause.pause.
reactionThan to tell you one of my
colorexciting jokescolor!pause Yep, that's
what the doctor ordered!pause
You DID come to hear one
of my colorexciting jokescolor, right?pause
colorreactionfun_06Eeep, maybe not!colorfun_06
reactionAnyway, pauseget ready to feel
the excitement! |
| OK then! pauseAhem!pressButton
reactionfun_06colorI'm bombing up here!fun_06 |
| reactionSo?pause See what I did there?pressButton
reactionfun_06KAPOW! pauseRight? pauseRight?!pause
colorreactionfun_06I'm putting 'em to sleep!colorfun_06
reactionAnd YOU can do it, too!pressButton
That coloremotion colorI just used
has been added to your
colorfun_00 keyboard windowcolor!
Use that coloremotion coloron your
friends! pausereactionPut some fun_06KAPOW
in conversations!
reactionNow, wasn't that the best
color800 Bells coloryou ever spent?pressButton
You'll knock 'em dead with
that emotion! |
| Thank you! pauseThank you!pause
reactionNo, pauseno, pauseyou're TOO kind!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| fun_08 |
| reactionThank you! pauseThank you!pause
And thank YOU!
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house! |
| reactionThank you! pauseThank you!pause
And thanks to that special
someone out there! pauseI think
you KNOW who you are!
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house! |
| Thank you! pauseThank you!pause And a
HUGE shout-out to my
number one fan out there!
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house! |
| Ready pausefor pausea pausereactionpausethrill? |
| Then colorFrillard'scolor classic shtick
will do the trick! pauseNow, pauseI'd like
complete silence as I beginpause.pause.pause. |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Um, pauseahem. |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the angries today!
Just before the show, pauseI was
hurrying into the colorMarqueecolor
when I was broadsidedpause.pause.pause.pause
by blue-haired ladies!
They crowded around me
with their cameras! pauseAnd
wouldn't let me pass!
I'm thinking, I do NOT have
time for this! I can't satisfy
EVERY fan out there!pause
But I just couldn't say no,
so I said OK, pauseOK, pauseOK.pressButton
The blue-haired ladies lit
up with glee!
But, then! pausereactionThey gave me
their cameras and made me
take pictures of THEM!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT!! |
| Did I ever get a serious
shock today!
Wanna know why? pauseI was
looking in the mirror
when my jacket saidpause.pause.pause.pause
reactionI make IT look tacky!
reactionThe doctor ispausereaction OUT!
|
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the giggles today!
Wanna know why? pauseI got a
standing ovation last night.pause
reactionBut then I woke up and
realized I'd been dreaming!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| Hold on.pause.pause.pausepause What the hey?!pause
reactionThis was supposed to be a
rehearsal! pauseDrop the curtain!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
outrage in the very air!
pause.pause.pause.pauseSo, I was on my way to
the train station the other
day. pauseAnd fun_06THEN!
I got lost. pauseTotally helpless.pause
And fun_06THEN!
This lady in a fancy dress
came over and gave me
directions to the station!pause
She saidpause.pause.pause.
"Good sir, pausego colorzing colorthat way,pause
colorwhoosh coloraround the corner,pause
then colorzoom colorup the hill!"
reactionI was flabbergasted! pauseSo I
said to herpause.pause.pause.pause
reactionsize"Hogwash, madam!" |
| Did I ever have a serious
panic attack yesterday!
I was getting off the buspausereaction
when I realized that I left
my notebook on my seat!
reactionEverything was OK, though.pause
Because I just ran back
in the bus and grabbed it.
But fun_06WOW, did I panic for a
second there!
reactionI know,pause you're probably
wondering why I'd freak
out over a silly notebook.pause.pause.pause
reactionBut that notebook is where
I've jotted down my joke
ideas for YEARS!
It's the most precious
thing in the world to me!
reactionEver since the bus incident,pause
I've kept it in my jacket
pocket at ALL TIMES, pauseso
I'll never lose it again!
See? pauseIt's right herepause.pause.pause.pause
reactionWhat? pauseWhere is it?reaction
reactionWhere'd it go?pause Hey, this
ISN'T funny!reaction
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| Ever had a terrible case of
stage fright? pauseWhere youpause.pause.pause.pause
justpause.pause.pause.pausereactionstop and shake?
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor has the cure for
you! pauseJust trick yourself into
thinking you're shaking for
some OTHER reason!
Like, maybe you have brain
freeze!pause reactionEep!
reactionOr, maybe you swallowed a
fly by accident!pause reactionUrk!
reactionOr, maybepause.pause.pause.pauseer, maybepause.pause.pause.pause
Maybe someone in the
audience is about to BOO
you off the stage! pausereactionAargh!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| I've got the perfect cure
for those times when you
just want to cry!
Can-do attitude! And I take
THAT medicine each time I
step onstage!pause
Because sticks and stones
may break my bones,pause but
words can never hurt me!pause
Ha! pauseSo, just TRY to say
that my jokes stink!
fun_06C'mon, try itpause.pause.pause.pausefun_06pause
fun_06I'm waitingpause.pause.pause.pausefun_06pause
fun_06pause.pause.pause.pauseC'MON, I gotta show you!pausefun_06pause
fun_06fun_06Please?pausefun_06fun_06
fun_06pausereactionWaaaah!pause I hate the silent
treatment!fun_06
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| Umpause.pause.pause.is it just me? pausereactionOr is it
cold out here?!
Eeeep! pausereactionThere it is again!pause
I know what it is! pauseYour
chilly stares! pauseEeeep!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| I'm just bursting with joy
up here today!
Wanna know why? pausereactionA visitor
just complimented me! pause
He said that my best jokepause.pause.pause.pause
is when I tell NO joke!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the what-the-heys
today!
Wanna know why? pauseIt's all
because of something my
kid said last night!
So, pausehe hears a knock, right?pause
And he goes to the door
and shouts, "Who IS it?"pause
Like I taught him, right?
And a woman on the other
side yells, pause"I'm selling
candy! pauseMay I speak to the
HEAD of this household?"
And what does HE say?pause
Get this!!
"My fun_06MOM is out right now!"
My own kid says that! pausereactionCan
you BELIEVE it?!
I mean, pausereactionwhat the hey?!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT? |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pausereactionYou shall now see
inspiration in the very air!
pauseUpausehpausehpause.pause.pause.pause Now, what was I
going to do?pause
Ipause hadpause apause greatpause scenepause thatpause Ipause
justpause thoughtpause ofpause.pause.pause.pause
Ohpause nopause.pause.pause.pause What was it?fun_06
reactionpauseOh! That's right!pause reactionOh, wait,
no!pause Lost it again! pause
It's curtains for me! |
| You know, I'm SO happy
right now that Ipause.pause.pause.pausereactionjust gotta
show it!
Wanna know why? pauseBecause
I had my palm read, pauseand
the fortune-teller saidpause.pause.pause.
reaction"colorShrunkcolor, your palm tells me
much! You are verypause.pause.pause.pause
DARING!"
reactionI was happy to hear that,pausereaction
so I began dancing around!pause
Then I said to her, "Tell me
more, please!"
reactionAnd she said, "colorShrunkcolor, I
can see that NO ONE
laughs at your jokespause.pause.pause."
"Still, pauseyou go on stage every
day, colorShrunkcolor! pauseIt is so
DARING to be that unfunny!"
Can you believe it?! pauseI'm the
most daring comic in the
biz! pauseYEAH!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
thought in the very air!
You may wonderpause.pause.pause.
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseCan the master still
summon thought dots after
all these years?
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseDoes he still have the
concentration it takes?
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseOr do thought dots come
only to the spring chicken?
reactionpauseWatch as the master shows
you how it's done!pause
Here goes!fun_06
pausefun_06What?! pausereactionI can't do it!pause
Quick, drop the curtain!
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseI wonder what I did
wrong? |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the blues today!
Wanna know why? pauseIt all
started at midnight last
night!
I was trying to fall asleep,
so I was counting sheep:pause
98pause.pause.pause.pause99pause.pause.pause.pause100!
And just THEN, pauseI heard a
voice out of nowhere!
color"Shrunkpause.pause.pause.pauseShrunkpause.pause.pause.pauseShrunk!"color
Yes! There was a GHOST in
the room! pauseSo, I hid under
the covers!
And then the ghost called
out again!
color"No morepause.pause.pause.pauseno morepause.pause.pause.pause"
"No morepause.pause.pause.pausefun_06JOKES!"color
pausereactionCan you believe it? pauseI even
get booed from the beyond!pause
Sigh. The doctor ispausereaction OUT. |
| pauseYou know, I've never
forgotten my first
heartbreak!
Back then, I was just a
little colorShrunkcolor in
kindergarten!
For Valentine's Day, we all
exchanged cards! pauseAnd I
really poured my heart out
to this girl I liked!
I watched in class as she
opened my cardpause.pause.pause.
She broke out laughing!pause
She said she never read
anything SO funny!
reactionpauseIt's the one time in life I
really DIDN'T want to make
someone laugh.
Yep, the doctor ispausereaction OUT. |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the up-to-no-goods
today!
Wanna know why? pauseYeah, I
BET you would!
pausereactionPsych! pauseGotcha!
Heh! The doctor ispausereaction OUT!
|
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
sleepiness in the very air!
fun_06pause.pause.pause.pause
pause.pause.pause.pause
pause.pause.pause.pause
pause.pause.pause.pauseNowpause who's pausesleepy?
pause.pause.pause.pauseYoupause or pauseme?fun_06fun_06
reactionYawn. pauseTime for my nap. |
| Did you know that love
makes everything nicer?
So, let me tell you about
my wife! pauseShe used to be
the sweetest girl in the
wholepause wide pauseworld!
She used to say, "colorShrunkcolor,
you're my funny honey!"
But these days, the missus
says things likepause.pause.pause.
reaction"Get a fun_06REAL job, colorShrunkcolor!"
"What kind of doctor fun_06ARE
you, anyway?!"
"Your jokes make people
feel fun_06QUEASY!"
reactionYep, the missus really
knows how to make me feel
smallpause.pause.pause.pause
pauseBut I gotta admitpause.pause.pause.pausereactionthat's
what I colorfun_00color about my wife!
Yeah! The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| I'd like to discuss a verypause
serious pausetopic.
reactionHappiness!pause reactionOh, yes.
In fact, pauseif you ask me what
I seriously think is the
MOST serious issue of our
day, pauseI'd saypause.pause.pause.
reactionHappiness!pause reactionSerious, right?
Now, I don't mean to bring
everyone down, pausebut I truly
believe there's ONE word
that sums it all up.
pause.pause.pause.pausereactionOrange!
reactionHuh?! pauseOrange you glad I
didn't say "happiness"
again?
reactionThe doctor ispausereaction OUT!
|
| Have I ever got a serious
case of irritation today!
Wanna know why? pauseI just
bought a fortune cookie.pressButton
When I cracked it open,pause
reactionthere was NO fortune!
reactionSo I bought ANOTHER one.pressButton
reactionIt didn't have a fortune
either!
reactionI bought a THIRD cookie.pause
I smashed it open.pause
Guess what?pause There was a
fortune inside! pauseIt said...
colorYou pausewill pausespend pausea pausefortune pauseonpause
cookies pausetoday.color
reactionCan you BELIEVE that?!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| You know, pauseI'm sick with
worry that my routine isn't
funny enough.
I just made it up last night
at home! pauseI was practicing in
front of the mirror, pauseand it
went something like thispause.pause.pause.
pause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
Then my wife suddenly
yelled, "fun_06colorShrunkcolor, take out
the garbage!"
reactionI really needed to rehearse,pause
so I started againpause.pause.pause.
reactionpause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
"fun_06colorShrunkcolor, take out that
garbage! It STINKS!"
reactionI worried that I'd stink if I
didn't practice, so I ignored
her and tried againpause.pause.pause.
reactionpause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
"fun_06colorShrunkcolor, take out that
garbage now! It REEKS!"
reactionSo, I took it out.pressButton Anyway, I
hope that you like my new
routine. pausereactionHere we go!
pause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
pause.pause.pause.pauseAnd that's all I got done
last night.
reactionSee, I told you I was
worried about it.
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
embarrassment in the very
air!
pause.pause.pause.pauseI was talking to my
youngest daughter this
morning. pauseAnd fun_06THEN!
She said that she thought
I was 110 years old!pause
And fun_06THEN!
reactionI got very embarrassed!pause
I mean, 110?!pressButton Do I really
look that YOUNG?! |
| Sometimes people throw
rotten tomatoes at me if
they don't like my jokes.
The lights up here shine in
my eyes! pauseI can't see a
tomato coming at me until
it's too late!
So, if you see me do THISreaction.pause.pause.pause
It means I'm scared a
tomato's flying at my face!
reactionEeek! reactionNo! pauseSee, it happened
right then again!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT of here!
|
| But wait. pauseThere's something
really stuck in my craw. pause
It's that youngsters never
listen these days!
So, pausehere's how to pay
attention!
Sit still. pauseBe patient. pauseClean
the wax out of your ears.
reactionAnd nod your head the
whole time to show that
you're following along.pause
Like thispause.pause.pause.
reactionUh-huh! pauseInteresting!pause
I see!pause Of course.pause pauseReally?
reaction.pause.pause.pauseRight. pauseYep.pause Mmmm-hmmm.pause
Mmmmmm.pause Mmm.
pauseZpausezpausezpausezpausezpausezpausezpausezpause.pause |
| Let me tell you,pause I don't
always have folks coming
out to see me like this.
But it's good to know
some people really like
my jokes!
So,pause if I can get enough
love from this audience,pause
I'll premiere my new jokepause
right here and now!
reactionHow 'bout it?pause Ready?pause
Let's hear a rousing round
of applause!
C'mon! Who wants to hear
my new joke?!pause Just clap!pause
fun_06C'mon, clap!reactionpausefun_06
reactionpauseHello? pausereactionClap! pauseJust a little? |
| So, pauseI was talking to a
cranky old friend the other
day. He saidpause.pause.pause.
reaction"I am fun_06NOT going to end my
career stuck in this dump!"
"I will fun_06QUIT before I see my
good name ruined by this
claptrap theater!"
reactionThe funny thing about my
cranky friend ispause.pause.pause.pausehe's
already retired!
reactionSheesh! pauseWhat he needs is a
crank adjustment!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT. |
| So, pauseI once got some advice
from a respected man of
the theater. pauseHe saidpause.pause.pause.
fun_06"colorShrunkcolor! pauseYou'll never be a
hit in a million years if you
fun_06MUMBLE all the time!"
And I've always belted out
my gags ever since!
reactionpauseNot that it helps.
The doctor ispausereaction OUT.
|
| reactionHey! pauseWhat an eye-opener
I had today! pauseWanna know
why?
reactionIt all started when I hired
an assistant to clean my
jacket. pausePeople throw a LOT
of rotten tomatoes at me!
Anyhoo, pausethe stage
manager said he thought
the kid I hired was GREAT!
My manager told me all
sorts of stuff about the
kid I didn't know!
Like reactionthat he'd won the
amateur comedy prize for
several years in a row!
reactionAnd reactionthat he has a huge
fan base of his own!
reactionAnd then my manager said
the most surprising thing of
all!
That maybe I should bepause.pause.pause.pausereaction
my assistant's assistant!
reactionThe doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
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| NPC_shisho.gmm |
| Thank you! pauseThank you!pause
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house!
reactionAnd if you're SICK of the
same old blabbity-blab,pause
have I got a CURE for you!
reactionYeah? pauseYeah? pauseYou can't
wait, pauseright? pauseHello?! |
| reactionpauseWow, rough crowd! pauseWell,
there's no better way to
break through the blahspause.pause.pause.
reactionThan to tell you one of my
colorexciting jokescolor!pause Yep, that's
what the doctor ordered!pause
You DID come to hear one
of my colorexciting jokescolor, right?pause
colorreactionfun_06Eeep, maybe not!colorfun_06
reactionAnyway, pauseget ready to feel
the excitement! |
| OK then! pauseAhem!pressButton
reactionfun_06colorI'm bombing up here!fun_06 |
| reactionSo?pause See what I did there?pressButton
reactionfun_06KAPOW! pauseRight? pauseRight?!pause
colorreactionfun_06I'm putting 'em to sleep!colorfun_06
reactionAnd YOU can do it, too!pressButton
That coloremotion colorI just used
has been added to your
colorfun_00 keyboard windowcolor!
Use that coloremotion coloron your
friends! pausereactionPut some fun_06KAPOW
in conversations!
reactionNow, wasn't that the best
color800 Bells coloryou ever spent?pressButton
You'll knock 'em dead with
that emotion! |
| Thank you! pauseThank you!pause
reactionNo, pauseno, pauseyou're TOO kind!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| |
| |
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| |
| fun_08 |
| reactionThank you! pauseThank you!pause
And thank YOU!
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house! |
| reactionThank you! pauseThank you!pause
And thanks to that special
someone out there! pauseI think
you KNOW who you are!
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house! |
| Thank you! pauseThank you!pause And a
HUGE shout-out to my
number one fan out there!
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house! |
| Ready pausefor pausea pausereactionpausethrill? |
| Then colorFrillard'scolor classic shtick
will do the trick! pauseNow, pauseI'd like
complete silence as I beginpause.pause.pause. |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Um, pauseahem. |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the angries today!
Just before the show, pauseI was
hurrying into the colorMarqueecolor
when I was broadsidedpause.pause.pause.pause
by blue-haired ladies!
They crowded around me
with their cameras! pauseAnd
wouldn't let me pass!
I'm thinking, I do NOT have
time for this! I can't satisfy
EVERY fan out there!pause
But I just couldn't say no,
so I said OK, pauseOK, pauseOK.pressButton
The blue-haired ladies lit
up with glee!
But, then! pausereactionThey gave me
their cameras and made me
take pictures of THEM!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT!! |
| Did I ever get a serious
shock today!
Wanna know why? pauseI was
looking in the mirror
when my jacket saidpause.pause.pause.pause
reactionI make IT look tacky!
reactionThe doctor ispausereaction OUT!
|
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the giggles today!
Wanna know why? pauseI got a
standing ovation last night.pause
reactionBut then I woke up and
realized I'd been dreaming!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| Hold on.pause.pause.pausepause What the hey?!pause
reactionThis was supposed to be a
rehearsal! pauseDrop the curtain!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
outrage in the very air!
pause.pause.pause.pauseSo, I was on my way to
the train station the other
day. pauseAnd fun_06THEN!
I got lost. pauseTotally helpless.pause
And fun_06THEN!
This lady in a fancy dress
came over and gave me
directions to the station!pause
She saidpause.pause.pause.
"Good sir, pausego colorzing colorthat way,pause
colorwhoosh coloraround the corner,pause
then colorzoom colorup the hill!"
reactionI was flabbergasted! pauseSo I
said to herpause.pause.pause.pause
reactionsize"Hogwash, madam!" |
| Did I ever have a serious
panic attack yesterday!
I was getting off the buspausereaction
when I realized that I left
my notebook on my seat!
reactionEverything was OK, though.pause
Because I just ran back
in the bus and grabbed it.
But fun_06WOW, did I panic for a
second there!
reactionI know,pause you're probably
wondering why I'd freak
out over a silly notebook.pause.pause.pause
reactionBut that notebook is where
I've jotted down my joke
ideas for YEARS!
It's the most precious
thing in the world to me!
reactionEver since the bus incident,pause
I've kept it in my jacket
pocket at ALL TIMES, pauseso
I'll never lose it again!
See? pauseIt's right herepause.pause.pause.pause
reactionWhat? pauseWhere is it?reaction
reactionWhere'd it go?pause Hey, this
ISN'T funny!reaction
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| Ever had a terrible case of
stage fright? pauseWhere youpause.pause.pause.pause
justpause.pause.pause.pausereactionstop and shake?
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor has the cure for
you! pauseJust trick yourself into
thinking you're shaking for
some OTHER reason!
Like, maybe you have brain
freeze!pause reactionEep!
reactionOr, maybe you swallowed a
fly by accident!pause reactionUrk!
reactionOr, maybepause.pause.pause.pauseer, maybepause.pause.pause.pause
Maybe someone in the
audience is about to BOO
you off the stage! pausereactionAargh!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| I've got the perfect cure
for those times when you
just want to cry!
Can-do attitude! And I take
THAT medicine each time I
step onstage!pause
Because sticks and stones
may break my bones,pause but
words can never hurt me!pause
Ha! pauseSo, just TRY to say
that my jokes stink!
fun_06C'mon, try itpause.pause.pause.pausefun_06pause
fun_06I'm waitingpause.pause.pause.pausefun_06pause
fun_06pause.pause.pause.pauseC'MON, I gotta show you!pausefun_06pause
fun_06fun_06Please?pausefun_06fun_06
fun_06pausereactionWaaaah!pause I hate the silent
treatment!fun_06
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| Umpause.pause.pause.is it just me? pausereactionOr is it
cold out here?!
Eeeep! pausereactionThere it is again!pause
I know what it is! pauseYour
chilly stares! pauseEeeep!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| I'm just bursting with joy
up here today!
Wanna know why? pausereactionA visitor
just complimented me! pause
He said that my best jokepause.pause.pause.pause
is when I tell NO joke!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the what-the-heys
today!
Wanna know why? pauseIt's all
because of something my
kid said last night!
So, pausehe hears a knock, right?pause
And he goes to the door
and shouts, "Who IS it?"pause
Like I taught him, right?
And a woman on the other
side yells, pause"I'm selling
candy! pauseMay I speak to the
HEAD of this household?"
And what does HE say?pause
Get this!!
"My fun_06MOM is out right now!"
My own kid says that! pausereactionCan
you BELIEVE it?!
I mean, pausereactionwhat the hey?!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT? |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pausereactionYou shall now see
inspiration in the very air!
pauseUpausehpausehpause.pause.pause.pause Now, what was I
going to do?pause
Ipause hadpause apause greatpause scenepause thatpause Ipause
justpause thoughtpause ofpause.pause.pause.pause
Ohpause nopause.pause.pause.pause What was it?fun_06
reactionpauseOh! That's right!pause reactionOh, wait,
no!pause Lost it again! pause
It's curtains for me! |
| You know, I'm SO happy
right now that Ipause.pause.pause.pausereactionjust gotta
show it!
Wanna know why? pauseBecause
I had my palm read, pauseand
the fortune-teller saidpause.pause.pause.
reaction"colorShrunkcolor, your palm tells me
much! You are verypause.pause.pause.pause
DARING!"
reactionI was happy to hear that,pausereaction
so I began dancing around!pause
Then I said to her, "Tell me
more, please!"
reactionAnd she said, "colorShrunkcolor, I
can see that NO ONE
laughs at your jokespause.pause.pause."
"Still, pauseyou go on stage every
day, colorShrunkcolor! pauseIt is so
DARING to be that unfunny!"
Can you believe it?! pauseI'm the
most daring comic in the
biz! pauseYEAH!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
thought in the very air!
You may wonderpause.pause.pause.
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseCan the master still
summon thought dots after
all these years?
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseDoes he still have the
concentration it takes?
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseOr do thought dots come
only to the spring chicken?
reactionpauseWatch as the master shows
you how it's done!pause
Here goes!fun_06
pausefun_06What?! pausereactionI can't do it!pause
Quick, drop the curtain!
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseI wonder what I did
wrong? |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the blues today!
Wanna know why? pauseIt all
started at midnight last
night!
I was trying to fall asleep,
so I was counting sheep:pause
98pause.pause.pause.pause99pause.pause.pause.pause100!
And just THEN, pauseI heard a
voice out of nowhere!
color"Shrunkpause.pause.pause.pauseShrunkpause.pause.pause.pauseShrunk!"color
Yes! There was a GHOST in
the room! pauseSo, I hid under
the covers!
And then the ghost called
out again!
color"No morepause.pause.pause.pauseno morepause.pause.pause.pause"
"No morepause.pause.pause.pausefun_06JOKES!"color
pausereactionCan you believe it? pauseI even
get booed from the beyond!pause
Sigh. The doctor ispausereaction OUT. |
| pauseYou know, I've never
forgotten my first
heartbreak!
Back then, I was just a
little colorShrunkcolor in
kindergarten!
For Valentine's Day, we all
exchanged cards! pauseAnd I
really poured my heart out
to this girl I liked!
I watched in class as she
opened my cardpause.pause.pause.
She broke out laughing!pause
She said she never read
anything SO funny!
reactionpauseIt's the one time in life I
really DIDN'T want to make
someone laugh.
Yep, the doctor ispausereaction OUT. |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the up-to-no-goods
today!
Wanna know why? pauseYeah, I
BET you would!
pausereactionPsych! pauseGotcha!
Heh! The doctor ispausereaction OUT!
|
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
sleepiness in the very air!
fun_06pause.pause.pause.pause
pause.pause.pause.pause
pause.pause.pause.pause
pause.pause.pause.pauseNowpause who's pausesleepy?
pause.pause.pause.pauseYoupause or pauseme?fun_06fun_06
reactionYawn. pauseTime for my nap. |
| Did you know that love
makes everything nicer?
So, let me tell you about
my wife! pauseShe used to be
the sweetest girl in the
wholepause wide pauseworld!
She used to say, "colorShrunkcolor,
you're my funny honey!"
But these days, the missus
says things likepause.pause.pause.
reaction"Get a fun_06REAL job, colorShrunkcolor!"
"What kind of doctor fun_06ARE
you, anyway?!"
"Your jokes make people
feel fun_06QUEASY!"
reactionYep, the missus really
knows how to make me feel
smallpause.pause.pause.pause
pauseBut I gotta admitpause.pause.pause.pausereactionthat's
what I colorfun_00color about my wife!
Yeah! The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| I'd like to discuss a verypause
serious pausetopic.
reactionHappiness!pause reactionOh, yes.
In fact, pauseif you ask me what
I seriously think is the
MOST serious issue of our
day, pauseI'd saypause.pause.pause.
reactionHappiness!pause reactionSerious, right?
Now, I don't mean to bring
everyone down, pausebut I truly
believe there's ONE word
that sums it all up.
pause.pause.pause.pausereactionOrange!
reactionHuh?! pauseOrange you glad I
didn't say "happiness"
again?
reactionThe doctor ispausereaction OUT!
|
| Have I ever got a serious
case of irritation today!
Wanna know why? pauseI just
bought a fortune cookie.pressButton
When I cracked it open,pause
reactionthere was NO fortune!
reactionSo I bought ANOTHER one.pressButton
reactionIt didn't have a fortune
either!
reactionI bought a THIRD cookie.pause
I smashed it open.pause
Guess what?pause There was a
fortune inside! pauseIt said...
colorYou pausewill pausespend pausea pausefortune pauseonpause
cookies pausetoday.color
reactionCan you BELIEVE that?!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| You know, pauseI'm sick with
worry that my routine isn't
funny enough.
I just made it up last night
at home! pauseI was practicing in
front of the mirror, pauseand it
went something like thispause.pause.pause.
pause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
Then my wife suddenly
yelled, "fun_06colorShrunkcolor, take out
the garbage!"
reactionI really needed to rehearse,pause
so I started againpause.pause.pause.
reactionpause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
"fun_06colorShrunkcolor, take out that
garbage! It STINKS!"
reactionI worried that I'd stink if I
didn't practice, so I ignored
her and tried againpause.pause.pause.
reactionpause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
"fun_06colorShrunkcolor, take out that
garbage now! It REEKS!"
reactionSo, I took it out.pressButton Anyway, I
hope that you like my new
routine. pausereactionHere we go!
pause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
pause.pause.pause.pauseAnd that's all I got done
last night.
reactionSee, I told you I was
worried about it.
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
embarrassment in the very
air!
pause.pause.pause.pauseI was talking to my
youngest daughter this
morning. pauseAnd fun_06THEN!
She said that she thought
I was 110 years old!pause
And fun_06THEN!
reactionI got very embarrassed!pause
I mean, 110?!pressButton Do I really
look that YOUNG?! |
| Sometimes people throw
rotten tomatoes at me if
they don't like my jokes.
The lights up here shine in
my eyes! pauseI can't see a
tomato coming at me until
it's too late!
So, if you see me do THISreaction.pause.pause.pause
It means I'm scared a
tomato's flying at my face!
reactionEeek! reactionNo! pauseSee, it happened
right then again!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT of here!
|
| But wait. pauseThere's something
really stuck in my craw. pause
It's that youngsters never
listen these days!
So, pausehere's how to pay
attention!
Sit still. pauseBe patient. pauseClean
the wax out of your ears.
reactionAnd nod your head the
whole time to show that
you're following along.pause
Like thispause.pause.pause.
reactionUh-huh! pauseInteresting!pause
I see!pause Of course.pause pauseReally?
reaction.pause.pause.pauseRight. pauseYep.pause Mmmm-hmmm.pause
Mmmmmm.pause Mmm.
pauseZpausezpausezpausezpausezpausezpausezpausezpause.pause |
| Let me tell you,pause I don't
always have folks coming
out to see me like this.
But it's good to know
some people really like
my jokes!
So,pause if I can get enough
love from this audience,pause
I'll premiere my new jokepause
right here and now!
reactionHow 'bout it?pause Ready?pause
Let's hear a rousing round
of applause!
C'mon! Who wants to hear
my new joke?!pause Just clap!pause
fun_06C'mon, clap!reactionpausefun_06
reactionpauseHello? pausereactionClap! pauseJust a little? |
| So, pauseI was talking to a
cranky old friend the other
day. He saidpause.pause.pause.
reaction"I am fun_06NOT going to end my
career stuck in this dump!"
"I will fun_06QUIT before I see my
good name ruined by this
claptrap theater!"
reactionThe funny thing about my
cranky friend ispause.pause.pause.pausehe's
already retired!
reactionSheesh! pauseWhat he needs is a
crank adjustment!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT. |
| So, pauseI once got some advice
from a respected man of
the theater. pauseHe saidpause.pause.pause.
fun_06"colorShrunkcolor! pauseYou'll never be a
hit in a million years if you
fun_06MUMBLE all the time!"
And I've always belted out
my gags ever since!
reactionpauseNot that it helps.
The doctor ispausereaction OUT.
|
| reactionHey! pauseWhat an eye-opener
I had today! pauseWanna know
why?
reactionIt all started when I hired
an assistant to clean my
jacket. pausePeople throw a LOT
of rotten tomatoes at me!
Anyhoo, pausethe stage
manager said he thought
the kid I hired was GREAT!
My manager told me all
sorts of stuff about the
kid I didn't know!
Like reactionthat he'd won the
amateur comedy prize for
several years in a row!
reactionAnd reactionthat he has a huge
fan base of his own!
reactionAnd then my manager said
the most surprising thing of
all!
That maybe I should bepause.pause.pause.pausereaction
my assistant's assistant!
reactionThe doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
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| NPC_shisho.gmm |
| Thank you! pauseThank you!pause
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house!
reactionAnd if you're SICK of the
same old blabbity-blab,pause
have I got a CURE for you!
reactionYeah? pauseYeah? pauseYou can't
wait, pauseright? pauseHello?! |
| reactionpauseWow, rough crowd! pauseWell,
there's no better way to
break through the blahspause.pause.pause.
reactionThan to tell you one of my
colorexciting jokescolor!pause Yep, that's
what the doctor ordered!pause
You DID come to hear one
of my colorexciting jokescolor, right?pause
colorreactionfun_06Eeep, maybe not!colorfun_06
reactionAnyway, pauseget ready to feel
the excitement! |
| OK then! pauseAhem!pressButton
reactionfun_06colorI'm bombing up here!fun_06 |
| reactionSo?pause See what I did there?pressButton
reactionfun_06KAPOW! pauseRight? pauseRight?!pause
colorreactionfun_06I'm putting 'em to sleep!colorfun_06
reactionAnd YOU can do it, too!pressButton
That coloremotion colorI just used
has been added to your
colorfun_00 keyboard windowcolor!
Use that coloremotion coloron your
friends! pausereactionPut some fun_06KAPOW
in conversations!
reactionNow, wasn't that the best
color800 Bells coloryou ever spent?pressButton
You'll knock 'em dead with
that emotion! |
| Thank you! pauseThank you!pause
reactionNo, pauseno, pauseyou're TOO kind!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
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| fun_08 |
| reactionThank you! pauseThank you!pause
And thank YOU!
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house! |
| reactionThank you! pauseThank you!pause
And thanks to that special
someone out there! pauseI think
you KNOW who you are!
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house! |
| Thank you! pauseThank you!pause And a
HUGE shout-out to my
number one fan out there!
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor is in the house! |
| Ready pausefor pausea pausereactionpausethrill? |
| Then colorFrillard'scolor classic shtick
will do the trick! pauseNow, pauseI'd like
complete silence as I beginpause.pause.pause. |
| |
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| Um, pauseahem. |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the angries today!
Just before the show, pauseI was
hurrying into the colorMarqueecolor
when I was broadsidedpause.pause.pause.pause
by blue-haired ladies!
They crowded around me
with their cameras! pauseAnd
wouldn't let me pass!
I'm thinking, I do NOT have
time for this! I can't satisfy
EVERY fan out there!pause
But I just couldn't say no,
so I said OK, pauseOK, pauseOK.pressButton
The blue-haired ladies lit
up with glee!
But, then! pausereactionThey gave me
their cameras and made me
take pictures of THEM!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT!! |
| Did I ever get a serious
shock today!
Wanna know why? pauseI was
looking in the mirror
when my jacket saidpause.pause.pause.pause
reactionI make IT look tacky!
reactionThe doctor ispausereaction OUT!
|
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the giggles today!
Wanna know why? pauseI got a
standing ovation last night.pause
reactionBut then I woke up and
realized I'd been dreaming!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| Hold on.pause.pause.pausepause What the hey?!pause
reactionThis was supposed to be a
rehearsal! pauseDrop the curtain!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
outrage in the very air!
pause.pause.pause.pauseSo, I was on my way to
the train station the other
day. pauseAnd fun_06THEN!
I got lost. pauseTotally helpless.pause
And fun_06THEN!
This lady in a fancy dress
came over and gave me
directions to the station!pause
She saidpause.pause.pause.
"Good sir, pausego colorzing colorthat way,pause
colorwhoosh coloraround the corner,pause
then colorzoom colorup the hill!"
reactionI was flabbergasted! pauseSo I
said to herpause.pause.pause.pause
reactionsize"Hogwash, madam!" |
| Did I ever have a serious
panic attack yesterday!
I was getting off the buspausereaction
when I realized that I left
my notebook on my seat!
reactionEverything was OK, though.pause
Because I just ran back
in the bus and grabbed it.
But fun_06WOW, did I panic for a
second there!
reactionI know,pause you're probably
wondering why I'd freak
out over a silly notebook.pause.pause.pause
reactionBut that notebook is where
I've jotted down my joke
ideas for YEARS!
It's the most precious
thing in the world to me!
reactionEver since the bus incident,pause
I've kept it in my jacket
pocket at ALL TIMES, pauseso
I'll never lose it again!
See? pauseIt's right herepause.pause.pause.pause
reactionWhat? pauseWhere is it?reaction
reactionWhere'd it go?pause Hey, this
ISN'T funny!reaction
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| Ever had a terrible case of
stage fright? pauseWhere youpause.pause.pause.pause
justpause.pause.pause.pausereactionstop and shake?
reactioncolorDr. Shrunkcolor has the cure for
you! pauseJust trick yourself into
thinking you're shaking for
some OTHER reason!
Like, maybe you have brain
freeze!pause reactionEep!
reactionOr, maybe you swallowed a
fly by accident!pause reactionUrk!
reactionOr, maybepause.pause.pause.pauseer, maybepause.pause.pause.pause
Maybe someone in the
audience is about to BOO
you off the stage! pausereactionAargh!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| I've got the perfect cure
for those times when you
just want to cry!
Can-do attitude! And I take
THAT medicine each time I
step onstage!pause
Because sticks and stones
may break my bones,pause but
words can never hurt me!pause
Ha! pauseSo, just TRY to say
that my jokes stink!
fun_06C'mon, try itpause.pause.pause.pausefun_06pause
fun_06I'm waitingpause.pause.pause.pausefun_06pause
fun_06pause.pause.pause.pauseC'MON, I gotta show you!pausefun_06pause
fun_06fun_06Please?pausefun_06fun_06
fun_06pausereactionWaaaah!pause I hate the silent
treatment!fun_06
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| Umpause.pause.pause.is it just me? pausereactionOr is it
cold out here?!
Eeeep! pausereactionThere it is again!pause
I know what it is! pauseYour
chilly stares! pauseEeeep!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| I'm just bursting with joy
up here today!
Wanna know why? pausereactionA visitor
just complimented me! pause
He said that my best jokepause.pause.pause.pause
is when I tell NO joke!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the what-the-heys
today!
Wanna know why? pauseIt's all
because of something my
kid said last night!
So, pausehe hears a knock, right?pause
And he goes to the door
and shouts, "Who IS it?"pause
Like I taught him, right?
And a woman on the other
side yells, pause"I'm selling
candy! pauseMay I speak to the
HEAD of this household?"
And what does HE say?pause
Get this!!
"My fun_06MOM is out right now!"
My own kid says that! pausereactionCan
you BELIEVE it?!
I mean, pausereactionwhat the hey?!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT? |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pausereactionYou shall now see
inspiration in the very air!
pauseUpausehpausehpause.pause.pause.pause Now, what was I
going to do?pause
Ipause hadpause apause greatpause scenepause thatpause Ipause
justpause thoughtpause ofpause.pause.pause.pause
Ohpause nopause.pause.pause.pause What was it?fun_06
reactionpauseOh! That's right!pause reactionOh, wait,
no!pause Lost it again! pause
It's curtains for me! |
| You know, I'm SO happy
right now that Ipause.pause.pause.pausereactionjust gotta
show it!
Wanna know why? pauseBecause
I had my palm read, pauseand
the fortune-teller saidpause.pause.pause.
reaction"colorShrunkcolor, your palm tells me
much! You are verypause.pause.pause.pause
DARING!"
reactionI was happy to hear that,pausereaction
so I began dancing around!pause
Then I said to her, "Tell me
more, please!"
reactionAnd she said, "colorShrunkcolor, I
can see that NO ONE
laughs at your jokespause.pause.pause."
"Still, pauseyou go on stage every
day, colorShrunkcolor! pauseIt is so
DARING to be that unfunny!"
Can you believe it?! pauseI'm the
most daring comic in the
biz! pauseYEAH!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT! |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
thought in the very air!
You may wonderpause.pause.pause.
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseCan the master still
summon thought dots after
all these years?
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseDoes he still have the
concentration it takes?
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseOr do thought dots come
only to the spring chicken?
reactionpauseWatch as the master shows
you how it's done!pause
Here goes!fun_06
pausefun_06What?! pausereactionI can't do it!pause
Quick, drop the curtain!
reactionpause.pause.pause.pauseI wonder what I did
wrong? |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the blues today!
Wanna know why? pauseIt all
started at midnight last
night!
I was trying to fall asleep,
so I was counting sheep:pause
98pause.pause.pause.pause99pause.pause.pause.pause100!
And just THEN, pauseI heard a
voice out of nowhere!
color"Shrunkpause.pause.pause.pauseShrunkpause.pause.pause.pauseShrunk!"color
Yes! There was a GHOST in
the room! pauseSo, I hid under
the covers!
And then the ghost called
out again!
color"No morepause.pause.pause.pauseno morepause.pause.pause.pause"
"No morepause.pause.pause.pausefun_06JOKES!"color
pausereactionCan you believe it? pauseI even
get booed from the beyond!pause
Sigh. The doctor ispausereaction OUT. |
| pauseYou know, I've never
forgotten my first
heartbreak!
Back then, I was just a
little colorShrunkcolor in
kindergarten!
For Valentine's Day, we all
exchanged cards! pauseAnd I
really poured my heart out
to this girl I liked!
I watched in class as she
opened my cardpause.pause.pause.
She broke out laughing!pause
She said she never read
anything SO funny!
reactionpauseIt's the one time in life I
really DIDN'T want to make
someone laugh.
Yep, the doctor ispausereaction OUT. |
| Have I ever got a serious
case of the up-to-no-goods
today!
Wanna know why? pauseYeah, I
BET you would!
pausereactionPsych! pauseGotcha!
Heh! The doctor ispausereaction OUT!
|
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
sleepiness in the very air!
fun_06pause.pause.pause.pause
pause.pause.pause.pause
pause.pause.pause.pause
pause.pause.pause.pauseNowpause who's pausesleepy?
pause.pause.pause.pauseYoupause or pauseme?fun_06fun_06
reactionYawn. pauseTime for my nap. |
| Did you know that love
makes everything nicer?
So, let me tell you about
my wife! pauseShe used to be
the sweetest girl in the
wholepause wide pauseworld!
She used to say, "colorShrunkcolor,
you're my funny honey!"
But these days, the missus
says things likepause.pause.pause.
reaction"Get a fun_06REAL job, colorShrunkcolor!"
"What kind of doctor fun_06ARE
you, anyway?!"
"Your jokes make people
feel fun_06QUEASY!"
reactionYep, the missus really
knows how to make me feel
smallpause.pause.pause.pause
pauseBut I gotta admitpause.pause.pause.pausereactionthat's
what I colorfun_00color about my wife!
Yeah! The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| I'd like to discuss a verypause
serious pausetopic.
reactionHappiness!pause reactionOh, yes.
In fact, pauseif you ask me what
I seriously think is the
MOST serious issue of our
day, pauseI'd saypause.pause.pause.
reactionHappiness!pause reactionSerious, right?
Now, I don't mean to bring
everyone down, pausebut I truly
believe there's ONE word
that sums it all up.
pause.pause.pause.pausereactionOrange!
reactionHuh?! pauseOrange you glad I
didn't say "happiness"
again?
reactionThe doctor ispausereaction OUT!
|
| Have I ever got a serious
case of irritation today!
Wanna know why? pauseI just
bought a fortune cookie.pressButton
When I cracked it open,pause
reactionthere was NO fortune!
reactionSo I bought ANOTHER one.pressButton
reactionIt didn't have a fortune
either!
reactionI bought a THIRD cookie.pause
I smashed it open.pause
Guess what?pause There was a
fortune inside! pauseIt said...
colorYou pausewill pausespend pausea pausefortune pauseonpause
cookies pausetoday.color
reactionCan you BELIEVE that?!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| You know, pauseI'm sick with
worry that my routine isn't
funny enough.
I just made it up last night
at home! pauseI was practicing in
front of the mirror, pauseand it
went something like thispause.pause.pause.
pause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
Then my wife suddenly
yelled, "fun_06colorShrunkcolor, take out
the garbage!"
reactionI really needed to rehearse,pause
so I started againpause.pause.pause.
reactionpause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
"fun_06colorShrunkcolor, take out that
garbage! It STINKS!"
reactionI worried that I'd stink if I
didn't practice, so I ignored
her and tried againpause.pause.pause.
reactionpause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
"fun_06colorShrunkcolor, take out that
garbage now! It REEKS!"
reactionSo, I took it out.pressButton Anyway, I
hope that you like my new
routine. pausereactionHere we go!
pause"Have I ever got a serious
case of..."
pause.pause.pause.pauseAnd that's all I got done
last night.
reactionSee, I told you I was
worried about it.
The doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
| pausePrepare to see emotion pausein
motion! pauseYou shall now see
embarrassment in the very
air!
pause.pause.pause.pauseI was talking to my
youngest daughter this
morning. pauseAnd fun_06THEN!
She said that she thought
I was 110 years old!pause
And fun_06THEN!
reactionI got very embarrassed!pause
I mean, 110?!pressButton Do I really
look that YOUNG?! |
| Sometimes people throw
rotten tomatoes at me if
they don't like my jokes.
The lights up here shine in
my eyes! pauseI can't see a
tomato coming at me until
it's too late!
So, if you see me do THISreaction.pause.pause.pause
It means I'm scared a
tomato's flying at my face!
reactionEeek! reactionNo! pauseSee, it happened
right then again!
The doctor ispausereaction OUT of here!
|
| But wait. pauseThere's something
really stuck in my craw. pause
It's that youngsters never
listen these days!
So, pausehere's how to pay
attention!
Sit still. pauseBe patient. pauseClean
the wax out of your ears.
reactionAnd nod your head the
whole time to show that
you're following along.pause
Like thispause.pause.pause.
reactionUh-huh! pauseInteresting!pause
I see!pause Of course.pause pauseReally?
reaction.pause.pause.pauseRight. pauseYep.pause Mmmm-hmmm.pause
Mmmmmm.pause Mmm.
pauseZpausezpausezpausezpausezpausezpausezpausezpause.pause |
| Let me tell you,pause I don't
always have folks coming
out to see me like this.
But it's good to know
some people really like
my jokes!
So,pause if I can get enough
love from this audience,pause
I'll premiere my new jokepause
right here and now!
reactionHow 'bout it?pause Ready?pause
Let's hear a rousing round
of applause!
C'mon! Who wants to hear
my new joke?!pause Just clap!pause
fun_06C'mon, clap!reactionpausefun_06
reactionpauseHello? pausereactionClap! pauseJust a little? |
| So, pauseI was talking to a
cranky old friend the other
day. He saidpause.pause.pause.
reaction"I am fun_06NOT going to end my
career stuck in this dump!"
"I will fun_06QUIT before I see my
good name ruined by this
claptrap theater!"
reactionThe funny thing about my
cranky friend ispause.pause.pause.pausehe's
already retired!
reactionSheesh! pauseWhat he needs is a
crank adjustment!
reactionThe doctor ispause OUT. |
| So, pauseI once got some advice
from a respected man of
the theater. pauseHe saidpause.pause.pause.
fun_06"colorShrunkcolor! pauseYou'll never be a
hit in a million years if you
fun_06MUMBLE all the time!"
And I've always belted out
my gags ever since!
reactionpauseNot that it helps.
The doctor ispausereaction OUT.
|
| reactionHey! pauseWhat an eye-opener
I had today! pauseWanna know
why?
reactionIt all started when I hired
an assistant to clean my
jacket. pausePeople throw a LOT
of rotten tomatoes at me!
Anyhoo, pausethe stage
manager said he thought
the kid I hired was GREAT!
My manager told me all
sorts of stuff about the
kid I didn't know!
Like reactionthat he'd won the
amateur comedy prize for
several years in a row!
reactionAnd reactionthat he has a huge
fan base of his own!
reactionAnd then my manager said
the most surprising thing of
all!
That maybe I should bepause.pause.pause.pausereaction
my assistant's assistant!
reactionThe doctor ispausereaction OUT! |
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