moonmoon

Kapp'n: Lyrics & Lines

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Index+
Kapp'n

1

💬
Yar! Are ye in such a great hurry?Didn't ye just start this voyage?
Let's be havin' a listen to me song!
Don't be goin' and rushin' things!
The island, she ain't goin' nowhere.
All right then, off we be to sea!
Yar har har! Ye be like an impatient
lobster o' some sort!It be a ways yet afore the island
comes into view. Till then, why
don' ye be listenin' to me singin'?
What be this? Ye seasick? Well then,
think o' me song as a lullaby to help
soothe yer sloppy belly.
Yar and yo ho! Since ye made it this
far, it only be customary that ye
shush an' a-listen till the very end!
Aye, ye hasty squid, ye! This be the
part where I really starts to hit me
best notes...
Gar! Shivers and bounty!
We be nearly thar...
We be nearly thar...
Ahhh...I...forgot to record me
favorite sailin' program!
Why ye be interruptin' me singin'?!
Just when I be a-croonin' like me
dear ol' mum taught me...
Yar? Ye be wantin' to return to
town so soon? Yer just talkin' to
hear yer beak flap!
Just be a good wee shrimp an' listen
to me song till she's done! La la...
Yar har har! Ye gettin' homesick?
Well, ye be needin' to grow a tough
shell an' get on wit' yer life.
Yar! Stop a-throwin' anchor an'
causin' a fuss, !Ye be on my ship, so ye should just
enjoy what be spewin' from me
salty jowls! Yar har har!
If ye need to use th' bathroom,
yer outta luck! Just hold yer horses
an' listen to me love song.
Thanks fer listenin' to me song!Yar, today's a day
I'll ne'er be forgettin'!
Aye! Seein' how I have ye here,
why don't ye just enjoy me singin'?!
There be only a wee bit more......
Ye need to learn to roll wit' what
the waves splash upon ye...
We be almost thar, ye know...
Gar? Ye be a scallywag! Even as I be
goin' out of me way and feelin' all
good a-singin' fer ya...
ye be pushin' the button or what
have ye! All clicky clicky click...
Be ye in that much of a rush?
Well, if that be th' deal...
I'll quit me singin' an' just
get us to the destination.
Yar! Are ye in such a great hurry?Didn't ye just start this voyage?
Let's be havin' a listen to me song!
Don't be goin' and rushin' things!
The island, she ain't goin' nowhere.
All right then, off we be to sea!
Yar har har! Ye be like an impatient
lobster o' some sort!It be a ways yet afore the island
comes into view. Till then, why
don' ye be listenin' to me singin'?
What be this? Ye seasick? Well then,
think o' me song as a lullaby to help
soothe yer sloppy belly.
Yar and yo ho! Since ye made it this
far, it only be customary that ye
shush an' a-listen till the very end!
Aye, ye hasty squid, ye! This be the
part where I really starts to hit me
best notes...
Gar! Shivers and bounty!
We be nearly thar...
We be nearly thar...
Ahhh...I...forgot to record me
favorite sailin' program!
Why ye be interruptin' me singin'?!
Just when I be a-croonin' like me
dear ol' mum taught me...
Yar? Ye be wantin' to return to
town so soon? Yer just talkin' to
hear yer beak flap!
Just be a good wee shrimp an' listen
to me song till she's done! La la...
Yar har har! Ye gettin' homesick?
Well, ye be needin' to grow a tough
shell an' get on wit' yer life.
Yar! Stop a-throwin' anchor an'
causin' a fuss, !Ye be on my ship, so ye should just
enjoy what be spewin' from me
salty jowls! Yar har har!
If ye need to use th' bathroom,
yer outta luck! Just hold yer horses
an' listen to me love song.
Thanks fer listenin' to me song!Yar, today's a day
I'll ne'er be forgettin'!
Aye! Seein' how I have ye here,
why don't ye just enjoy me singin'?!
There be only a wee bit more......
Ye need to learn to roll wit' what
the waves splash upon ye...
We be almost thar, ye know...
Gar? Ye be a scallywag! Even as I be
goin' out of me way and feelin' all
good a-singin' fer ya...
ye be pushin' the button or what
have ye! All clicky clicky click...
Be ye in that much of a rush?
Well, if that be th' deal...
I'll quit me singin' an' just
get us to the destination.

2

💬
I said good-bye to me freewheeling past
and hello to me girl, me wee little lass.When she was very small, well, she was so cute.
She favors her mother. She's a real beaut!
When I met me wife, she weren't very
impressed. I guess she didn't like the way that I
dressed!Sailor's hat along with them big ol' bell-
bottoms; guess ya shouldn't wear some clothes
just 'cause ya got 'em!
Member yer manners. Ye say "please" and
"thank ye." If ye don't, Mum will cry into her
hankie!Mum spent so many years raisin' you right.
So get yer manners down, and she'll sleep at
night!
I baked a big cake for me daughter's birthday.
But she took one taste, and she ran away!It's like I told me wife: it can't be all my fault
some genius made sugar look 'zactly like salt!
I went ta see me doc. He's kind of a stern bloke.
I said, "Doc, ye gotta help! Me butt be broke!"Doc did not smile one bit, not even a little, not
when I said, "There's a crack down-a middle!"
Me mum thinks that makeup be kinda like armor.
Thinks wearin' tons means that no one can harm
her! She cakes it on thick in five or six layers.
Looks like facepaint on them football players!
When I needs energy, I drinks cold, dark joe, an'
lo an' behold, right away, it gets me goin'.Gets me heart pumpin' fast and makes me dizzy.
But then I got no excuse to not be busy!
Me grandma lives in the house where I grew up.
She used to read to me when I was a pup.She did voices. She made 'em real funny! She
made reading lots of fun, made each day sunny!
Sea monsters be misunderstood, and it's sad.
Known me some sea monsters, and they ain't so
bad!Sure, they may seem real fierce, all tentacles
and teeth. Most of 'em got soft hearts. They be
real sweet!
Wish I could shrink a boat down and go sailin',
go sailin' in me ol' washin' machine.Survivin' spin cycle with all them tube socks
would make me the best sailor the world's ever
seen!
I said good-bye to me freewheeling past
and hello to me girl, me wee little lass.When she was very small, well, she was so cute.
She favors her mother. She's a real beaut!
When I met me wife, she weren't very
impressed. I guess she didn't like the way that I
dressed!Sailor's hat along with them big ol' bell-
bottoms; guess ya shouldn't wear some clothes
just 'cause ya got 'em!
Member yer manners. Ye say "please" and
"thank ye." If ye don't, Mum will cry into her
hankie!Mum spent so many years raisin' you right.
So get yer manners down, and she'll sleep at
night!
I baked a big cake for me daughter's birthday.
But she took one taste, and she ran away!It's like I told me wife: it can't be all my fault
some genius made sugar look 'zactly like salt!
I went ta see me doc. He's kind of a stern bloke.
I said, "Doc, ye gotta help! Me butt be broke!"Doc did not smile one bit, not even a little, not
when I said, "There's a crack down-a middle!"
Me mum thinks that makeup be kinda like armor.
Thinks wearin' tons means that no one can harm
her! She cakes it on thick in five or six layers.
Looks like facepaint on them football players!
When I needs energy, I drinks cold, dark joe, an'
lo an' behold, right away, it gets me goin'.Gets me heart pumpin' fast and makes me dizzy.
But then I got no excuse to not be busy!
Me grandma lives in the house where I grew up.
She used to read to me when I was a pup.She did voices. She made 'em real funny! She
made reading lots of fun, made each day sunny!
Sea monsters be misunderstood, and it's sad.
Known me some sea monsters, and they ain't so
bad!Sure, they may seem real fierce, all tentacles
and teeth. Most of 'em got soft hearts. They be
real sweet!
Wish I could shrink a boat down and go sailin',
go sailin' in me ol' washin' machine.Survivin' spin cycle with all them tube socks
would make me the best sailor the world's ever
seen!

3

💬
Thar be some things that ev'ry dad should
just know, things that make yer girl yer pal, yer
boy yer bro.I'm talkin' 'bout stuff like the pull-me-finger
trick, stuff that helps 'em not grow up too
quick.
Now that I'm a dad, I thinks about dad things.
I wonder if me girl likes when I sings.She always chuckles, and then she rolls her eyes.
I guess that's good. Don't want her to date
singer guys.
When business be slow, I toss soap in the water,
takes an ice-cold bath right there (wish it were
hotter!)Sudsy! Scrubsy! Loofah! Then shampoo squirts!
Me wife's plan to clean 'er man—even if it hurts!
It goes "Red sky at night, sailors take delight."
'Tis a verse most old salts hold ta be true.But me, I be diff'rent. I gots me own truth.
When it comes ta sky hue, I prefers it blue!
A captain's only as good as his crew. With a
crew like mine there's so much we can do!Me mum runs the galley. Me wife be me first
mate. Me girl be the admiral, makes me ship
great!
Once got lost out at sea, could not find me way
in. Kapp'n, he were scared! Kapp'n, unprepared!
Future looked grim!Me daughter saved the day, brushed her teeth
so clean. She stood ashore! She smiled so big!
Followed me the gleam!
When I were a hatchling and things didn't go
well, I could hide there inside, inside me shell.Now I be grow'd up. Me shell's kinda smallish.
Don't fit me, and it be needin' a polish.
Sail with me! We'll have the time o' our lives!
It be true! Me and you! Start the high fives!We'll go far! Ain't no car can outdo us this time!
Ev'ryone knows, ship like this goes well past
this rhyme!
Kapp'n be like a barber ye tells yer woes to.
Good listener like that, ev'ryone goes to!I may not cut yer hair, but I'll hear ye out—
soon as I be done singin', ye wee sea trout!
Saw me a kraken fightin' a big sea snake.
(Might have just been some seaweed; couldn't
see well.)I knows what ye be thinkin': "Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah." But I swear it be true! (Far as I can tell.)
Thar be some things that ev'ry dad should
just know, things that make yer girl yer pal, yer
boy yer bro.I'm talkin' 'bout stuff like the pull-me-finger
trick, stuff that helps 'em not grow up too
quick.
Now that I'm a dad, I thinks about dad things.
I wonder if me girl likes when I sings.She always chuckles, and then she rolls her eyes.
I guess that's good. Don't want her to date
singer guys.
When business be slow, I toss soap in the water,
takes an ice-cold bath right there (wish it were
hotter!)Sudsy! Scrubsy! Loofah! Then shampoo squirts!
Me wife's plan to clean 'er man—even if it hurts!
It goes "Red sky at night, sailors take delight."
'Tis a verse most old salts hold ta be true.But me, I be diff'rent. I gots me own truth.
When it comes ta sky hue, I prefers it blue!
A captain's only as good as his crew. With a
crew like mine there's so much we can do!Me mum runs the galley. Me wife be me first
mate. Me girl be the admiral, makes me ship
great!
Once got lost out at sea, could not find me way
in. Kapp'n, he were scared! Kapp'n, unprepared!
Future looked grim!Me daughter saved the day, brushed her teeth
so clean. She stood ashore! She smiled so big!
Followed me the gleam!
When I were a hatchling and things didn't go
well, I could hide there inside, inside me shell.Now I be grow'd up. Me shell's kinda smallish.
Don't fit me, and it be needin' a polish.
Sail with me! We'll have the time o' our lives!
It be true! Me and you! Start the high fives!We'll go far! Ain't no car can outdo us this time!
Ev'ryone knows, ship like this goes well past
this rhyme!
Kapp'n be like a barber ye tells yer woes to.
Good listener like that, ev'ryone goes to!I may not cut yer hair, but I'll hear ye out—
soon as I be done singin', ye wee sea trout!
Saw me a kraken fightin' a big sea snake.
(Might have just been some seaweed; couldn't
see well.)I knows what ye be thinkin': "Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah." But I swear it be true! (Far as I can tell.)

4

💬
Luck is on me side, !
Hmmm... It's a bit strange fer me to
go such a long time without utterin'
somethin' hilarious...
Take it from yer captain...it's OK
to cry, !
Ya gotta respect yerself,
! Yer wonderful!
Ye'll have to fergive me if me words
be as rough as the sea. Ye can't
teach an old sea dog new tricks!
Here's an idea I been workin' on:
shampoo and conditioner in one!
So, ... Ever been in love?
Just want ye to know: I'll always be
here fer ye!
I still like it when me mum helps me
pick out new clothes. The ol' gal's
got good taste!
I can tell just from standin' here. Ye
got lots o' charm!
Is that hairstyle popular these days?
Take it from me: try to get along
with yer mum!
This might sound strange, but...ye
look like one o' them movie stars!
Word to the wise, : don't
push yerself too hard, OK?
I don't know why...but the sea
seems sweeter when ye be on it!
Ya ever just feel like cryin'? Me too!
I'm not lookin' forward to sayin'
good-bye to ye!
Heh heh. Ye got a real style o' yer
own, don't ye!
Sorry to be blunt...but could ye
stop starin' at me like that?
So...are ye romantically involved
with anyone?
Luck is on me side, !
Hmmm... It's a bit strange fer me to
go such a long time without utterin'
somethin' hilarious...
Take it from yer captain...it's OK
to cry, !
Ya gotta respect yerself,
! Yer wonderful!
Ye'll have to fergive me if me words
be as rough as the sea. Ye can't
teach an old sea dog new tricks!
Here's an idea I been workin' on:
shampoo and conditioner in one!
So, ... Ever been in love?
Just want ye to know: I'll always be
here fer ye!
I still like it when me mum helps me
pick out new clothes. The ol' gal's
got good taste!
I can tell just from standin' here. Ye
got lots o' charm!
Is that hairstyle popular these days?
Take it from me: try to get along
with yer mum!
This might sound strange, but...ye
look like one o' them movie stars!
Word to the wise, : don't
push yerself too hard, OK?
I don't know why...but the sea
seems sweeter when ye be on it!
Ya ever just feel like cryin'? Me too!
I'm not lookin' forward to sayin'
good-bye to ye!
Heh heh. Ye got a real style o' yer
own, don't ye!
Sorry to be blunt...but could ye
stop starin' at me like that?
So...are ye romantically involved
with anyone?

5

💬
...I like yer name!
You like almonds on yer salads,
don't ya, ? I can tell!
Yar! I don't know where it's comin'
from...but one o' you landlubbin'
ladies smells real nice!
Tee hee hee... Girl talk be so
amusin'!
Ladies, when ya close yer eyes
tonight...dream o' yer captain and
how he'll always be here for ya...
I loves me cucumbers... But don't go
callin' me no herbivore!
You ladies...seem like gentle types!
Hmmm... Gettin' a bit of a tomboy
vibe from you ladies! I likes it!
I am such a happy guy, bein' near
such beautiful ladies. It's good for
me ol' ticker!
Now listen, ladies. I know it might
break yer hearts, but I'm married.
And I got me a wee child too!
...I like yer name!
You like almonds on yer salads,
don't ya, ? I can tell!
Yar! I don't know where it's comin'
from...but one o' you landlubbin'
ladies smells real nice!
Tee hee hee... Girl talk be so
amusin'!
Ladies, when ya close yer eyes
tonight...dream o' yer captain and
how he'll always be here for ya...
I loves me cucumbers... But don't go
callin' me no herbivore!
You ladies...seem like gentle types!
Hmmm... Gettin' a bit of a tomboy
vibe from you ladies! I likes it!
I am such a happy guy, bein' near
such beautiful ladies. It's good for
me ol' ticker!
Now listen, ladies. I know it might
break yer hearts, but I'm married.
And I got me a wee child too!

6

💬
You look mighty strong, !
Don't worry, ! Whatever
ya wanna do, ya can do it!
We'll always have adventurous
spirits. It be in our blood!
Little advice, man ta man: girls
seem to find roguish types like me
quite attractive.
Ya must've heard that even the
prettiest rose can be thorny. I leave
you to decide what that means...
Heh heh. Take it from me: we men
know a lot less than we think we do
about women.
Ever dreamed ya were dreamin' ya
were dreamin'? That be strange!
When me daughter was a babe, it
took five minutes ta bathe her. Now
she be in the bathroom all day!
Ever tried pickled eggplant? It ain't
too bad.
Cold swimmin' hole? Best to dive in
and get it over with, !
Ya look like ya could be one 'o them
pro wresters, !
When it comes ta love, ya gotta be
patient and wait for the right
person, !
Alrighty! That is some fine hairdo!
Try ta wear it like that more often!
When ya search fer yerself...ya can't
just search. Ya gotta find, too!
Ever camped out under the stars?
Nothin' like it!
Have as much fun as ya can now.
Ya ain't gettin' no younger!
You...look exactly like me when I
was younger!
I hope ya been workin' out. If this
motor goes, yer gonna be rowin' us
back ta shore, !
You play baseball? Ya got good
baseball arms.
Me daughter's the apple o' me eye.
She teaches this ol' salt new things
all the time!
You look mighty strong, !
Don't worry, ! Whatever
ya wanna do, ya can do it!
We'll always have adventurous
spirits. It be in our blood!
Little advice, man ta man: girls
seem to find roguish types like me
quite attractive.
Ya must've heard that even the
prettiest rose can be thorny. I leave
you to decide what that means...
Heh heh. Take it from me: we men
know a lot less than we think we do
about women.
Ever dreamed ya were dreamin' ya
were dreamin'? That be strange!
When me daughter was a babe, it
took five minutes ta bathe her. Now
she be in the bathroom all day!
Ever tried pickled eggplant? It ain't
too bad.
Cold swimmin' hole? Best to dive in
and get it over with, !
Ya look like ya could be one 'o them
pro wresters, !
When it comes ta love, ya gotta be
patient and wait for the right
person, !
Alrighty! That is some fine hairdo!
Try ta wear it like that more often!
When ya search fer yerself...ya can't
just search. Ya gotta find, too!
Ever camped out under the stars?
Nothin' like it!
Have as much fun as ya can now.
Ya ain't gettin' no younger!
You...look exactly like me when I
was younger!
I hope ya been workin' out. If this
motor goes, yer gonna be rowin' us
back ta shore, !
You play baseball? Ya got good
baseball arms.
Me daughter's the apple o' me eye.
She teaches this ol' salt new things
all the time!

7

💬
and , you
two look like you could be brothers!
Comfy underwear is important to
us men. looks comfy.
doesn't.
...looks like me when I
was younger!
So many men today! Where are all
the ladies?
Nice, isn't it? A friendship between
two men...
Just so you know...there's no
rasslin' on the boat!
I'm sure you boys're nice, but me
daughter's too young for datin'!
I like the hairdos, guys!
Next time you guys go campin', try
some peanut butter on yer s'mores!
You guys should have as much fun
as ya can now. 'Cause ya ain't
gettin' any younger!
Listen up, guys! Girls are like...
Oops! 'Scuse me! Seem to be havin'
trouble with the ol' bilge pump...
and , you
two look like you could be brothers!
Comfy underwear is important to
us men. looks comfy.
doesn't.
...looks like me when I
was younger!
So many men today! Where are all
the ladies?
Nice, isn't it? A friendship between
two men...
Just so you know...there's no
rasslin' on the boat!
I'm sure you boys're nice, but me
daughter's too young for datin'!
I like the hairdos, guys!
Next time you guys go campin', try
some peanut butter on yer s'mores!
You guys should have as much fun
as ya can now. 'Cause ya ain't
gettin' any younger!
Listen up, guys! Girls are like...
Oops! 'Scuse me! Seem to be havin'
trouble with the ol' bilge pump...

8

💬
...never embarrass a girl
in front of everyone, OK?
Aye, the sea can be rough if yer not
used to it, . You oughta
ride with me more often!
If ye get any scurvy seawater in yer
mouth...just spit it out, !
Do you like the blues? I likes the
blues! Yaaaarrrr! Need me a radio!
, ya looks like the type
o' seadog the girls be fightin' over.
Am I right?
, a father's most
important job is protectin' his kids
from all the scurvy dogs out thar!
Ya gotta take yer life by the wheel,
! Steers it where ya
wants it ta go!
Now, I knows the water be temptin',
. But don'tcha go jumpin'
in! I gots no life preservers!
Bein' surrounded by pretty girls can
really make a seadog nervous! Ain't
that right, ?
Ah, how I envies ya, ...
Yer so full'a life! So many sailin'
days ahead o' ya!
...Gar! Did ya hear that, ?
Kinda high-pitched for a foghorn
now, weren't it? Har har har!
...never embarrass a girl
in front of everyone, OK?
Aye, the sea can be rough if yer not
used to it, . You oughta
ride with me more often!
If ye get any scurvy seawater in yer
mouth...just spit it out, !
Do you like the blues? I likes the
blues! Yaaaarrrr! Need me a radio!
, ya looks like the type
o' seadog the girls be fightin' over.
Am I right?
, a father's most
important job is protectin' his kids
from all the scurvy dogs out thar!
Ya gotta take yer life by the wheel,
! Steers it where ya
wants it ta go!
Now, I knows the water be temptin',
. But don'tcha go jumpin'
in! I gots no life preservers!
Bein' surrounded by pretty girls can
really make a seadog nervous! Ain't
that right, ?
Ah, how I envies ya, ...
Yer so full'a life! So many sailin'
days ahead o' ya!
...Gar! Did ya hear that, ?
Kinda high-pitched for a foghorn
now, weren't it? Har har har!

9

💬
I bet guys fight over ya all the time,
right, ?
Saltwater taffy's a mystery ta me,
. Don't taste like salt nor
water!
Don't worry, . I'll getcha
back to the mainland safe an' sound.
We oughta form a sea-shanty band!
here can be our singer!
How's it feel ta be the only lass
here, ?
So...everyone's love lives? Good,
yar? Romance at sea can't be beat!
Let's film a seagoin' epic! Leadin'
lass? ! And is
the hero. Or maybe ?
Har har har! Feels like is
a queen and you boys are her
servants!
Oh, I can see it now!
and fightin' over
! Seems likely!
...Gar! It weren't me, !
I swears! Must be a school o'
tootfish passin' 'neath the boat!
I bet guys fight over ya all the time,
right, ?
Saltwater taffy's a mystery ta me,
. Don't taste like salt nor
water!
Don't worry, . I'll getcha
back to the mainland safe an' sound.
We oughta form a sea-shanty band!
here can be our singer!
How's it feel ta be the only lass
here, ?
So...everyone's love lives? Good,
yar? Romance at sea can't be beat!
Let's film a seagoin' epic! Leadin'
lass? ! And is
the hero. Or maybe ?
Har har har! Feels like is
a queen and you boys are her
servants!
Oh, I can see it now!
and fightin' over
! Seems likely!
...Gar! It weren't me, !
I swears! Must be a school o'
tootfish passin' 'neath the boat!

10

💬
Yar... It's good to be young! Ya wee
minnows ought ta stay that way!
, make sure ya takes
good care of ol' . be
needin' some lookin' after...
Occurs ta me that
would surely make a great wife!
Now listen, ye wee seasnails... Be
kind to each otharrrr!
, be a good pirate and
look after , yar?
Anyone else want ta steer?
? Har har har! I be such
a kidder! I do all the steerin' here!
Didja know? As yer captain, I can
marries ya off ta each other! Any
takers?
You seaslugs...look real nice
together! Good group, good group.
If the waves be makin' ya sick...
please aim yer gob over the side o'
the boat!
Ya wee sea urchins... Ya look like
lovebirds! Does me ol' ticker good!
Got time for a tale o' the... Gar!
Seems a squall be brewin' in me
southern hemisphere!
Yar... It's good to be young! Ya wee
minnows ought ta stay that way!
, make sure ya takes
good care of ol' . be
needin' some lookin' after...
Occurs ta me that
would surely make a great wife!
Now listen, ye wee seasnails... Be
kind to each otharrrr!
, be a good pirate and
look after , yar?
Anyone else want ta steer?
? Har har har! I be such
a kidder! I do all the steerin' here!
Didja know? As yer captain, I can
marries ya off ta each other! Any
takers?
You seaslugs...look real nice
together! Good group, good group.
If the waves be makin' ya sick...
please aim yer gob over the side o'
the boat!
Ya wee sea urchins... Ya look like
lovebirds! Does me ol' ticker good!
Got time for a tale o' the... Gar!
Seems a squall be brewin' in me
southern hemisphere!

11

💬
Har har har! What be this? Some
kind o' nautical double date?
So... We gots a pair o' lovebirds
here, do we? Yer captain can tell!
Har har! Looks like yer havin' a
merry ol' time thar, !
So. . Have ya decided
which of these lasses yer sweet on?
Har har! Ol' Kapp'n feels like a fifth
wheel now! No smoochin' on board!
Har har! and
seem to be in good
moods! Must be the sea air!
So yer couple o' couples, eh? Is that
love in the air? Or is it the briny
smell o' seaweed I detects?
Avast, ! I'm considerin'
holdin' ya in me brig till ya say
somethin' nice about !
Well... From the looks o' things, ya
oughta be datin' each other—if yer
not already doin' so!
All right. ? ?
You kids hear that migratin' honkbill
what just passed by? Yarrr...
Har har har! What be this? Some
kind o' nautical double date?
So... We gots a pair o' lovebirds
here, do we? Yer captain can tell!
Har har! Looks like yer havin' a
merry ol' time thar, !
So. . Have ya decided
which of these lasses yer sweet on?
Har har! Ol' Kapp'n feels like a fifth
wheel now! No smoochin' on board!
Har har! and
seem to be in good
moods! Must be the sea air!
So yer couple o' couples, eh? Is that
love in the air? Or is it the briny
smell o' seaweed I detects?
Avast, ! I'm considerin'
holdin' ya in me brig till ya say
somethin' nice about !
Well... From the looks o' things, ya
oughta be datin' each other—if yer
not already doin' so!
All right. ? ?
You kids hear that migratin' honkbill
what just passed by? Yarrr...

12

💬
When I'm away from me sweet little baby girl,
I see her sweet face. She's a real pearl. She's a
real pearl.
When the sun sets on the last day o' summer,
I feel blue, so so blue. It's a bummer. It's a real
bummer!
When me motor's purrin' it don't likes ta quit.
Sometimes ta turn it off, I sneaks up on it.
I sneaks up on it.
If ye make supper once, the chore's yers
forever! Least, that's what me wife tells me.
She's so very clever. She's so very clever.
There's no point actin' tough, no point actin'
bold. Standing shirtless in the rain just gives ye
a cold. Just gives ye a cold!
When yer in love, sometimes ya miss some
simple cues. When I first took me wife out,
I forgot shoes! I forgot shoes!
Don't dream of eatin' stuff yer really 'lergic to,
'cause ye might get a rash. Then ye'd be blue.
(Or another hue.)
I may be a turtle, but me shell's not me house.
Can't live in yer back with a child and spouse,
a child and spouse.
Sad songs can make ye cry, but ye should do
this: try laughin' at sad songs, the key ta bliss,
the key ta bliss!
It's just like me grandturtle said, "If ya can't
sing good, sing loud, 'cause then ya won't be
misunderstood, so misunderstood."
When I'm away from me sweet little baby girl,
I see her sweet face. She's a real pearl. She's a
real pearl.
When the sun sets on the last day o' summer,
I feel blue, so so blue. It's a bummer. It's a real
bummer!
When me motor's purrin' it don't likes ta quit.
Sometimes ta turn it off, I sneaks up on it.
I sneaks up on it.
If ye make supper once, the chore's yers
forever! Least, that's what me wife tells me.
She's so very clever. She's so very clever.
There's no point actin' tough, no point actin'
bold. Standing shirtless in the rain just gives ye
a cold. Just gives ye a cold!
When yer in love, sometimes ya miss some
simple cues. When I first took me wife out,
I forgot shoes! I forgot shoes!
Don't dream of eatin' stuff yer really 'lergic to,
'cause ye might get a rash. Then ye'd be blue.
(Or another hue.)
I may be a turtle, but me shell's not me house.
Can't live in yer back with a child and spouse,
a child and spouse.
Sad songs can make ye cry, but ye should do
this: try laughin' at sad songs, the key ta bliss,
the key ta bliss!
It's just like me grandturtle said, "If ya can't
sing good, sing loud, 'cause then ya won't be
misunderstood, so misunderstood."

13

💬
Wouldn't it be so cool if we could throw stress
out? Throw it out with the trash! That'd be
cool, no doubt. That'd be cool, no doubt.
It's nice that folks care 'bout this big ol' sea.
But sea captains need love too. So what about
me? So what about me?
I seen so many sunrises and sunsets. I enjoy 'em
no matter how busy life gets. How busy life
gets!
Don't matter much if ya don't got hair to comb.
The thing that matters most is what's under
your dome. What's under your dome?
If we hit a big rock, I'll be just fine 'cause I got
a life raft in this shell o' mine, in this shell o'
mine!
All day long it's "Ahoy, ahoy, ahoy!" If I weren't
doin' this, I'd be a cowboy. I'd be a cowboy!
Ya should never get upset even if yer dumped.
Kapp'n's always here fer ya. That should keep
ya pumped. That should keep ya pumped!
Cucumbers taste so great, make ya feel sassy.
Here's a little known fact, though: they makes
ya gassy. They makes ya gassy!
I gots ta be careful what I sings about now.
As a dad there's some stuff I can't allow,
I can't allow.
Catch the rest o' yer dream fallin' back asleep.
I love when that happens. It be so deep! It be so
deep!
Wouldn't it be so cool if we could throw stress
out? Throw it out with the trash! That'd be
cool, no doubt. That'd be cool, no doubt.
It's nice that folks care 'bout this big ol' sea.
But sea captains need love too. So what about
me? So what about me?
I seen so many sunrises and sunsets. I enjoy 'em
no matter how busy life gets. How busy life
gets!
Don't matter much if ya don't got hair to comb.
The thing that matters most is what's under
your dome. What's under your dome?
If we hit a big rock, I'll be just fine 'cause I got
a life raft in this shell o' mine, in this shell o'
mine!
All day long it's "Ahoy, ahoy, ahoy!" If I weren't
doin' this, I'd be a cowboy. I'd be a cowboy!
Ya should never get upset even if yer dumped.
Kapp'n's always here fer ya. That should keep
ya pumped. That should keep ya pumped!
Cucumbers taste so great, make ya feel sassy.
Here's a little known fact, though: they makes
ya gassy. They makes ya gassy!
I gots ta be careful what I sings about now.
As a dad there's some stuff I can't allow,
I can't allow.
Catch the rest o' yer dream fallin' back asleep.
I love when that happens. It be so deep! It be so
deep!

14

💬
I giggles when I lectures me girl, it's true. But
her cute little face would make you giggle, too,
make you giggle, too!
Mizzenmast! Scallywags! Poop deck and
keelhaul! Those be some nautical terms fer ye
all! Fer ye all!
Weird's the norm in school, but nothin' brings
more doom than a guy stumblin' into the girls'
locker room. The girls' locker room!
If yer speech be too raw, yer girl's face will
flush. Nothin' sets me straight like me wife's
blush, like me wife's blush.
I sleeps much better when me fam'ly's all home.
Havin' 'em near gives me peace in me big dome,
in me big dome.
Summer's fer swimmin'. The water ain't too
cold. But taking dips in winter? I ain't that bold!
I ain't that bold!
Sometimes men do blubber. Take it from me—I
know! How I cried just last night. (Sad TV show!
Sad TV show!)
Funny how the sun rises no matter what. What
if a director shouted "Cut!" Shouted "Cut!"
Circle wipe, circle wipe, wonder where ye are.
Ye can't be far away. Yer comin' up! Yar!
Yer comin' up! Yar!
This be the first song I learned. I know it's odd.
First song's 'bout a first song? Hey! Look at
that cod! Hey! Look at that cod!
I giggles when I lectures me girl, it's true. But
her cute little face would make you giggle, too,
make you giggle, too!
Mizzenmast! Scallywags! Poop deck and
keelhaul! Those be some nautical terms fer ye
all! Fer ye all!
Weird's the norm in school, but nothin' brings
more doom than a guy stumblin' into the girls'
locker room. The girls' locker room!
If yer speech be too raw, yer girl's face will
flush. Nothin' sets me straight like me wife's
blush, like me wife's blush.
I sleeps much better when me fam'ly's all home.
Havin' 'em near gives me peace in me big dome,
in me big dome.
Summer's fer swimmin'. The water ain't too
cold. But taking dips in winter? I ain't that bold!
I ain't that bold!
Sometimes men do blubber. Take it from me—I
know! How I cried just last night. (Sad TV show!
Sad TV show!)
Funny how the sun rises no matter what. What
if a director shouted "Cut!" Shouted "Cut!"
Circle wipe, circle wipe, wonder where ye are.
Ye can't be far away. Yer comin' up! Yar!
Yer comin' up! Yar!
This be the first song I learned. I know it's odd.
First song's 'bout a first song? Hey! Look at
that cod! Hey! Look at that cod!

15

💬
The frog croaks out songs that don't make any
sense. He's an old frog, so he can't hit any high
notes. Ain't a frog that I be. Fortune smiles
upon me. But I'll sing the frog's song, and
if you can, you should sing along.
Me boat's like a steed, a steed from a story-
book. Once you give her a look, you'll see what
I mean. She's a proud girl, and she runs hard to get you
on yer way. She be humble, but she'll rumble.
Aye, a-storm she's a fearsome sight to be seen!
In tug-o'-war, the guys're showin' off. They
want the girls to see how big their biceps can
get.Watch 'em next time, and you'll see they don't
even care who wins. They'll just flex all their
pecs. They forget it's a contest, I bet!
Once had me a ship made o' cucumber.
But then me cre-ew number could only be one.'Cause when ya chew on yer ship, swabbies say
you're kinda strange. They think you'll all sink,
when yer hunger makes yer ship come undone!
Stayin' young's about havin' a mischievous
smile. You won't grow old for a while with a
gleam in yer eye.Take me old man, fer instance. He's a wily,
ornery coot. Laughs all day, and in a way,
his ol' soul will prob'ly never die!
Me surfin' days, they be behind me now.
And I'll tells ya how it ain't 'bout me toes.When a big wave hits ya hard, knocks ya offa
yer board, well I flailed! And I wailed!
Oh, I still gots water up me nose!
I wrote so hard. I stayed up all night long
to write me girl a song, and it turned out great!I poured me heart on the page, and I rented
me a stage. But her dad was so mad, said, "Ain't
no way she'll stay out past eight!"
Sometimes I kiss me own reflection in me
window, and sometimes me neighbors walk by!I'm just practicin' kissin'. It's all fer me
sweetie pie. But those stares! Oh, those glares!
Neighbors must think I'm such a weird guy!
Me wife says she don't like me goin' to sea.
She says that she misses me, but I ain't so sure!When I comes home from me trips, she's eaten
all o' me chips. All me cakes and snack packs!
Guess me junk food is really just fer her?
I can't keep track of all me licenses, man!
Seems like the government can charge me all
day long!First there's me boat, then me car, then me
business license, too. It's not fair! I don't care!
An' I won't pay, if they tax this song!
The frog croaks out songs that don't make any
sense. He's an old frog, so he can't hit any high
notes. Ain't a frog that I be. Fortune smiles
upon me. But I'll sing the frog's song, and
if you can, you should sing along.
Me boat's like a steed, a steed from a story-
book. Once you give her a look, you'll see what
I mean. She's a proud girl, and she runs hard to get you
on yer way. She be humble, but she'll rumble.
Aye, a-storm she's a fearsome sight to be seen!
In tug-o'-war, the guys're showin' off. They
want the girls to see how big their biceps can
get.Watch 'em next time, and you'll see they don't
even care who wins. They'll just flex all their
pecs. They forget it's a contest, I bet!
Once had me a ship made o' cucumber.
But then me cre-ew number could only be one.'Cause when ya chew on yer ship, swabbies say
you're kinda strange. They think you'll all sink,
when yer hunger makes yer ship come undone!
Stayin' young's about havin' a mischievous
smile. You won't grow old for a while with a
gleam in yer eye.Take me old man, fer instance. He's a wily,
ornery coot. Laughs all day, and in a way,
his ol' soul will prob'ly never die!
Me surfin' days, they be behind me now.
And I'll tells ya how it ain't 'bout me toes.When a big wave hits ya hard, knocks ya offa
yer board, well I flailed! And I wailed!
Oh, I still gots water up me nose!
I wrote so hard. I stayed up all night long
to write me girl a song, and it turned out great!I poured me heart on the page, and I rented
me a stage. But her dad was so mad, said, "Ain't
no way she'll stay out past eight!"
Sometimes I kiss me own reflection in me
window, and sometimes me neighbors walk by!I'm just practicin' kissin'. It's all fer me
sweetie pie. But those stares! Oh, those glares!
Neighbors must think I'm such a weird guy!
Me wife says she don't like me goin' to sea.
She says that she misses me, but I ain't so sure!When I comes home from me trips, she's eaten
all o' me chips. All me cakes and snack packs!
Guess me junk food is really just fer her?
I can't keep track of all me licenses, man!
Seems like the government can charge me all
day long!First there's me boat, then me car, then me
business license, too. It's not fair! I don't care!
An' I won't pay, if they tax this song!

16

💬
Big 'rassler. That's what I'd like to be.
But you know I loves me lady, the sea.I'm not big, but I be strong, and I gots a will
likes the wind. So I says 'twon't be long till I'm
in the ring with all me friends!
Me lesson's learned. Always be nice to the girls.
'Cause if yer not nice to girls, girls will not be
nice to you!So don't you pull any hair. Don't you toss 'em
any bugs. Hold them doors! Hold them ha-nds!
Be-e charming if you want them hugs!
When I was young, I wanted all the girls
to love me just for me and not me good looks.I've a nice face, it be true, chiseled abs, and
fancy hair. But I'm smart! I gots heart!
I gots feelings! I gots lots to share!
Hey, mister bug, don't you-ou get me wrong.
I won't be squishin' you. 'Least not in this song.I'm only followin' you, bug, 'cause my house is
down this street. I won't stomp. I won't squish.
Long as you stay away from me feet!
I wants to sail 'round the whole world with you,
have some adventures, too, but me wife has
other plans.If I could shrink this ol' world, puts it in me
ba-ack yard, we could sail seven seas in 10
minutes! The world would be ours!
Oh, summertime, you're so summery.
You makes me toes so hot. I ne-ed some tea!So gimme so-ome tea with a nice twist o-o'
lime. I won't drink it! Can't think it!
No, this tea I'm pourin' on me feet!
Oh, cucumber, you're not a pewcumber.
I love you so-o much. You are me best friend.Though you're a bit tho-orny, we can still get
a-along. Let's not fight! Take a bite!
So-o tasty! Love you to the end!
When I was young, I'd call me sweetie to talk,
but if her dad picked up the phone, I'd hang up.Sometimes her dad's kinda mean. Even now
I'm scared o' him. But I asked for his girl's
hand, so I guess he thinks I'm man enough!
I met me wife sailin' the seven seas.
She made me weak in the knees.
I knew it was love.Sometimes love smacks you in the face, don't
always play it fair. Makes you so sick. So-o ick!
Puts you on the plank and gives a shove!
Oh, castaways! I've known some castaways.
Offered to help 'em out, but they said they was
fine.Once you get used to that life, there just ain't
no goin' back. It's just fun in the sun.
Guess it really does seem quite divine!
Big 'rassler. That's what I'd like to be.
But you know I loves me lady, the sea.I'm not big, but I be strong, and I gots a will
likes the wind. So I says 'twon't be long till I'm
in the ring with all me friends!
Me lesson's learned. Always be nice to the girls.
'Cause if yer not nice to girls, girls will not be
nice to you!So don't you pull any hair. Don't you toss 'em
any bugs. Hold them doors! Hold them ha-nds!
Be-e charming if you want them hugs!
When I was young, I wanted all the girls
to love me just for me and not me good looks.I've a nice face, it be true, chiseled abs, and
fancy hair. But I'm smart! I gots heart!
I gots feelings! I gots lots to share!
Hey, mister bug, don't you-ou get me wrong.
I won't be squishin' you. 'Least not in this song.I'm only followin' you, bug, 'cause my house is
down this street. I won't stomp. I won't squish.
Long as you stay away from me feet!
I wants to sail 'round the whole world with you,
have some adventures, too, but me wife has
other plans.If I could shrink this ol' world, puts it in me
ba-ack yard, we could sail seven seas in 10
minutes! The world would be ours!
Oh, summertime, you're so summery.
You makes me toes so hot. I ne-ed some tea!So gimme so-ome tea with a nice twist o-o'
lime. I won't drink it! Can't think it!
No, this tea I'm pourin' on me feet!
Oh, cucumber, you're not a pewcumber.
I love you so-o much. You are me best friend.Though you're a bit tho-orny, we can still get
a-along. Let's not fight! Take a bite!
So-o tasty! Love you to the end!
When I was young, I'd call me sweetie to talk,
but if her dad picked up the phone, I'd hang up.Sometimes her dad's kinda mean. Even now
I'm scared o' him. But I asked for his girl's
hand, so I guess he thinks I'm man enough!
I met me wife sailin' the seven seas.
She made me weak in the knees.
I knew it was love.Sometimes love smacks you in the face, don't
always play it fair. Makes you so sick. So-o ick!
Puts you on the plank and gives a shove!
Oh, castaways! I've known some castaways.
Offered to help 'em out, but they said they was
fine.Once you get used to that life, there just ain't
no goin' back. It's just fun in the sun.
Guess it really does seem quite divine!

17

💬
Some folks ask me how to avoid seasickness.
I tells 'em it's just like this: you gotta have an
iron gut. Do yer crunches. Work yer abs. Do some side
steps like them crabs. When ya feel abs o' steel,
no more queasy! You'll stay off yer butt!
Yer family has to have all kinds o' folks,
some who tell weird little jokes.
(I'm talkin' 'bout Dad.)Dad jokes be strange. It be true. Dad jokes
rarely make ya laugh. But Dad thinks he don't
stink. He just don't know. His jokes be so bad!
I'll do anything to be a popular guy.
But please don't ask me why
I want a flowery shirt.OK, I'll tells ya the deal: when I gets behind the
wheel, shirt like that be so rad. I'd be so cool—
so cool it would hurt!
Me new hairstyle, it's really easy ta fix.
A pair o' chopsticks, that's what I use for a
comb.I'd like a perm or an afro, a mohawk or odango.
But I got just one lock, so's I usually just shine
up me dome!
I done me best to chart this great big ol' world.
Sometimes I feel like I hurled meself in
too deep.So I turned o'er a new leaf. No more mappin'
ev'ry reef. Dock to dock, that's how I rock.
I can finally gets a good night's sleep!
I ran aground on a deserted isle; took me a
swim to waste some sweet time. As me wet shell hung to dry (see, I'm a prudish
guy), on me butt hung a coconut. Shell fit just
fine. Much better than mine!
Me wife came in from a rainstorm one day.
I said that her hair looked just like spaghetti.What I meant was it looked good. I don't think
she understood. And the storm that took form
inside the house nearly destroyed me!
Ya best be sure, sneakin' up on a friend, it really
be yer friend, not some random schmoe.Once I made the mistake o' not lookin' 'fore I
leaped. I confess, 'twas a mess! From behind
she looked like me pal Joe!
Her beauty's like sunset at ocean's end,
and she's still my best friend, me wife, Leilani.As fine as she be, she's got moods just like the
sea. Storms for days, then sun's rays. How I
love her! She's the one fer me!
Well, life be like crossin' the ocean wide.
We're all on this ride. Together we sail!Get ta know yer mates. Look out fer each
other's fates. Do yer best! Love the quest.
Life's a journey! It ain't pass or fail!
Some folks ask me how to avoid seasickness.
I tells 'em it's just like this: you gotta have an
iron gut. Do yer crunches. Work yer abs. Do some side
steps like them crabs. When ya feel abs o' steel,
no more queasy! You'll stay off yer butt!
Yer family has to have all kinds o' folks,
some who tell weird little jokes.
(I'm talkin' 'bout Dad.)Dad jokes be strange. It be true. Dad jokes
rarely make ya laugh. But Dad thinks he don't
stink. He just don't know. His jokes be so bad!
I'll do anything to be a popular guy.
But please don't ask me why
I want a flowery shirt.OK, I'll tells ya the deal: when I gets behind the
wheel, shirt like that be so rad. I'd be so cool—
so cool it would hurt!
Me new hairstyle, it's really easy ta fix.
A pair o' chopsticks, that's what I use for a
comb.I'd like a perm or an afro, a mohawk or odango.
But I got just one lock, so's I usually just shine
up me dome!
I done me best to chart this great big ol' world.
Sometimes I feel like I hurled meself in
too deep.So I turned o'er a new leaf. No more mappin'
ev'ry reef. Dock to dock, that's how I rock.
I can finally gets a good night's sleep!
I ran aground on a deserted isle; took me a
swim to waste some sweet time. As me wet shell hung to dry (see, I'm a prudish
guy), on me butt hung a coconut. Shell fit just
fine. Much better than mine!
Me wife came in from a rainstorm one day.
I said that her hair looked just like spaghetti.What I meant was it looked good. I don't think
she understood. And the storm that took form
inside the house nearly destroyed me!
Ya best be sure, sneakin' up on a friend, it really
be yer friend, not some random schmoe.Once I made the mistake o' not lookin' 'fore I
leaped. I confess, 'twas a mess! From behind
she looked like me pal Joe!
Her beauty's like sunset at ocean's end,
and she's still my best friend, me wife, Leilani.As fine as she be, she's got moods just like the
sea. Storms for days, then sun's rays. How I
love her! She's the one fer me!
Well, life be like crossin' the ocean wide.
We're all on this ride. Together we sail!Get ta know yer mates. Look out fer each
other's fates. Do yer best! Love the quest.
Life's a journey! It ain't pass or fail!

18

💬
Don't be getting the wrong idea,
lassie. I be a married Kapp'n now...
Yar! I just noticed... You have real
purty eyelashes, !
Yer lucky to have so much hair...
Don't tells no one... But the plate on
me head? It's a bit cracked!
If ya needs anything... Just ask ol'
Kapp'n.
If I was yer father, I'd be worried
about how pretty you are!
Are you a mum? Do ye wanna be a
mum someday? Mums are great...
I tells me daughter I've always got
her back...but I think she's got mine!
Ah, papas and their daughters. 'Tis
a...special relationship...
Listen to 'ol Kapp'n. Take good care
o' yer mum and pop!
Ah, the wind feels good today!
Makes me wish I had a sail...
So I bet yer the belle o' the town.
I knows cute when I sees it!
I don't know what kinda shampoo ye
be usin', but it makes ya smell like
an angel!
... Your hair... It be
indescribably beautiful! Har har!
I can tell by lookin'... Yer the darin'
sort, ain't ya?
Are ye the shy type, lassie? Yer not
sayin' much.
Don't be nervous, ! I've
sailed these seas a thousand times!
Har har! I just noticed how cute you
are!
Thar be no charms like a woman's
charms. Use 'em wisely!
Traveling alone, eh? Yar, that's the
life. Free as a seabird!
Don't be getting the wrong idea,
lassie. I be a married Kapp'n now...
Yar! I just noticed... You have real
purty eyelashes, !
Yer lucky to have so much hair...
Don't tells no one... But the plate on
me head? It's a bit cracked!
If ya needs anything... Just ask ol'
Kapp'n.
If I was yer father, I'd be worried
about how pretty you are!
Are you a mum? Do ye wanna be a
mum someday? Mums are great...
I tells me daughter I've always got
her back...but I think she's got mine!
Ah, papas and their daughters. 'Tis
a...special relationship...
Listen to 'ol Kapp'n. Take good care
o' yer mum and pop!
Ah, the wind feels good today!
Makes me wish I had a sail...
So I bet yer the belle o' the town.
I knows cute when I sees it!
I don't know what kinda shampoo ye
be usin', but it makes ya smell like
an angel!
... Your hair... It be
indescribably beautiful! Har har!
I can tell by lookin'... Yer the darin'
sort, ain't ya?
Are ye the shy type, lassie? Yer not
sayin' much.
Don't be nervous, ! I've
sailed these seas a thousand times!
Har har! I just noticed how cute you
are!
Thar be no charms like a woman's
charms. Use 'em wisely!
Traveling alone, eh? Yar, that's the
life. Free as a seabird!

19

💬
Sorry, gals... Kapp'n be happily
married!
I be a bit sad today... Me favorite
starfish be missin'. Perhaps I'll put
up some posters at the dock?
Gar! Didn't know I'd be havin' the
honor o' ferryin' Miss
today, ! Where's me tie?
Me? If there's cucumber on me
plate...I eats it last! Yum!
Ridin' with you...makes me realize
what bein' popular must be like!
Anyone else in the mood fer a large
herring milkshake? Extra fish eyes?
Har har har! I be blushin'. Must be
ye gals're gonna yap about me later!
Wait... Are you gals pop stars? Ye
looks like pop stars!
Heh heh. So this be what a gals'
adventure out looks like?
Tis nice, ain't it...fer gals to find
true friendship with each other?
Sorry, gals... Kapp'n be happily
married!
I be a bit sad today... Me favorite
starfish be missin'. Perhaps I'll put
up some posters at the dock?
Gar! Didn't know I'd be havin' the
honor o' ferryin' Miss
today, ! Where's me tie?
Me? If there's cucumber on me
plate...I eats it last! Yum!
Ridin' with you...makes me realize
what bein' popular must be like!
Anyone else in the mood fer a large
herring milkshake? Extra fish eyes?
Har har har! I be blushin'. Must be
ye gals're gonna yap about me later!
Wait... Are you gals pop stars? Ye
looks like pop stars!
Heh heh. So this be what a gals'
adventure out looks like?
Tis nice, ain't it...fer gals to find
true friendship with each other?

20

💬
Are you...using hair conditioner?
Soccer's cool. But ya ever thought
about sumo rasslin'?
...ye take care o' all yer
chores now. Understand?
Just 'tween us guys...me wife don't
'preciate me comin' home smellin'
o' boat fuel.
Believe it or not, back in the day, I
used ta be lean and mean...
Me sweetie's tryin' ta get me ta
talk in a less...salty way. But it be
seemin' uncaptainly ta me!
When someone tells me daughter
she looks like her dad, she starts
cryin' fer some reason...
Me daughter keeps bringin' me
seaweed sculpture... I don't get it.
Just 'tween us guys... Recently I've
been worried 'bout me last few
hairs fallin' out.
How's your mom doin'? Ye take
care o' her now, ya hear?
I bet ye'll make one amazin' sumo
rassler if ye put yer mind to it!
Yar! How much weight can ye lift?
Ye looks like ye got upper-arm
strength. Ye oughta challenge me to
an arm-rasslin' match!
...Garrr. May need to batten down
the hatches on the ol' poop deck.
Word to the wise: it be takin' more
than mere kindness ta be a man.
Do... Do ye smell somethin' funny?
A true man o' the sea be havin'
strong legs and a firm core!
Are you...using hair conditioner?
Soccer's cool. But ya ever thought
about sumo rasslin'?
...ye take care o' all yer
chores now. Understand?
Just 'tween us guys...me wife don't
'preciate me comin' home smellin'
o' boat fuel.
Believe it or not, back in the day, I
used ta be lean and mean...
Me sweetie's tryin' ta get me ta
talk in a less...salty way. But it be
seemin' uncaptainly ta me!
When someone tells me daughter
she looks like her dad, she starts
cryin' fer some reason...
Me daughter keeps bringin' me
seaweed sculpture... I don't get it.
Just 'tween us guys... Recently I've
been worried 'bout me last few
hairs fallin' out.
How's your mom doin'? Ye take
care o' her now, ya hear?
I bet ye'll make one amazin' sumo
rassler if ye put yer mind to it!
Yar! How much weight can ye lift?
Ye looks like ye got upper-arm
strength. Ye oughta challenge me to
an arm-rasslin' match!
...Garrr. May need to batten down
the hatches on the ol' poop deck.
Word to the wise: it be takin' more
than mere kindness ta be a man.
Do... Do ye smell somethin' funny?
A true man o' the sea be havin'
strong legs and a firm core!

21

💬
Heh heh. We got a good crew here.
Oughta play some ball sometime!
Gar! Don't even be thinkin' 'bout
divin' in fer a swim! These waters
be a bit...sharky.
Feels a wee bit crowded... Can ye
give me a bit more room?
You boys known each other long?
Lifelong pals, are ye? Best buds?
Nothin' like the friendship 'tween
good mates, eh?
You men seem stuck together like
the barnacles on me hull!
Wonder who'd win in an eatin'
contest. or ?
Me money be on... Well, never mind.
You gettin' hungry thar, ?
I'll have me sweetie pep ye up with
'er cod casserole!
Yer pretty buff thar, !
We oughta have a guys' night out
one o' these days!
One time, I... Oh, uh... We seem ta
have caught a bit o' a tailwind...
Heh heh. We got a good crew here.
Oughta play some ball sometime!
Gar! Don't even be thinkin' 'bout
divin' in fer a swim! These waters
be a bit...sharky.
Feels a wee bit crowded... Can ye
give me a bit more room?
You boys known each other long?
Lifelong pals, are ye? Best buds?
Nothin' like the friendship 'tween
good mates, eh?
You men seem stuck together like
the barnacles on me hull!
Wonder who'd win in an eatin'
contest. or ?
Me money be on... Well, never mind.
You gettin' hungry thar, ?
I'll have me sweetie pep ye up with
'er cod casserole!
Yer pretty buff thar, !
We oughta have a guys' night out
one o' these days!
One time, I... Oh, uh... We seem ta
have caught a bit o' a tailwind...

22

💬
Yer quite the ladies' man, ain't ye,
? I envies ya!
Well, aren't ye the smooth operator,
!
Gar! Some guys have all the luck,
eh, ?
Heh heh heh. Pretty popular with
the ladies, eh, ?
Ye got yer mojo workin' today, eh,
? Good luck, me matey!
This be whar ye belong,
—boatin' with pretty
girls!
Don't miss yer chance ta chat with
everyone, . This be a
short ride!
! If a storm rolls up...
just try to act brave!
On the count o' three, ,
stand up and flex! One...two... Wait!
Lemme sing a bit more first...
...If this were a sailboat, we'd have
no lack o' wind, eh, ?
Yer quite the ladies' man, ain't ye,
? I envies ya!
Well, aren't ye the smooth operator,
!
Gar! Some guys have all the luck,
eh, ?
Heh heh heh. Pretty popular with
the ladies, eh, ?
Ye got yer mojo workin' today, eh,
? Good luck, me matey!
This be whar ye belong,
—boatin' with pretty
girls!
Don't miss yer chance ta chat with
everyone, . This be a
short ride!
! If a storm rolls up...
just try to act brave!
On the count o' three, ,
stand up and flex! One...two... Wait!
Lemme sing a bit more first...
...If this were a sailboat, we'd have
no lack o' wind, eh, ?

23

💬
Heh, heh. Looks like yer the belle o'
the ball, !
You likes me singin', right,
? Course ya do!
You're a live one, ! Watch
out fer knuckleheads!
Thinkin' 'bout takin' me honeyed
voice on the road... You play guitar,
?
If we start a band...,
you'd be the backup vocals, OK?
So, ...what do ye think
about ? Pretty nice, eh?
Don't worry 'bout the wind an' the
waves, ! I be here fer ye!
So, ...got yer eye on
anyone here?
Looks like the guys just can't help
followin' ye around, !
...Gar! Must be some...air in the ol'
fuel lines! Right, ?
Heh, heh. Looks like yer the belle o'
the ball, !
You likes me singin', right,
? Course ya do!
You're a live one, ! Watch
out fer knuckleheads!
Thinkin' 'bout takin' me honeyed
voice on the road... You play guitar,
?
If we start a band...,
you'd be the backup vocals, OK?
So, ...what do ye think
about ? Pretty nice, eh?
Don't worry 'bout the wind an' the
waves, ! I be here fer ye!
So, ...got yer eye on
anyone here?
Looks like the guys just can't help
followin' ye around, !
...Gar! Must be some...air in the ol'
fuel lines! Right, ?

24

💬
You guys...on yer honeymoon?
You two...friends?
Heh, heh, heh. Don't tell me... You
two are eloping.
I'll try to keep the boat steady for
you two.
! Look out fer
. Don't let no one mess
with !
Heh, heh... Maybe it would be better
if I weren't here? I feels like a third
wheel!
Hope ye likes me singin' voice. It be
the only one I got!
I can hop overboard if ye likes—give
ye a li'l privacy...
Seems like there's more to ye two
than meets the eye...
You two... Gar! Um... 'Twasn't me!
'Twas the barnacles on me boat!
They be extra squeaky today!
You guys...on yer honeymoon?
You two...friends?
Heh, heh, heh. Don't tell me... You
two are eloping.
I'll try to keep the boat steady for
you two.
! Look out fer
. Don't let no one mess
with !
Heh, heh... Maybe it would be better
if I weren't here? I feels like a third
wheel!
Hope ye likes me singin' voice. It be
the only one I got!
I can hop overboard if ye likes—give
ye a li'l privacy...
Seems like there's more to ye two
than meets the eye...
You two... Gar! Um... 'Twasn't me!
'Twas the barnacles on me boat!
They be extra squeaky today!

25

💬
What be goin' on? Is this some
kind o' mixer?
Relationships be tricky. Ye kids... Ye
kids be careful!
Yar har! This be some kind o' fancy
playdate, eh? Ye kids have fun!
I got a million songs. Keep ridin'
with me if ye fancy hearin' 'em all.
Me boat be full! , yer
gonna hafta bail out... Yar har! I be
kiddin'! Just kiddin'! Don't jump!
Seems like ...be a bit
interested in . Be I right?
Ye be taxin' me patience! Just come
out and admit ye likes !
Hmmm... Sittin' awfully close ta
... Har! I sees how it is!
and seem ta
be in a good moods. Wonder what
be goin' on thar?
...Sorry. We seems ta have an
abundance o' wind t'day.
What be goin' on? Is this some
kind o' mixer?
Relationships be tricky. Ye kids... Ye
kids be careful!
Yar har! This be some kind o' fancy
playdate, eh? Ye kids have fun!
I got a million songs. Keep ridin'
with me if ye fancy hearin' 'em all.
Me boat be full! , yer
gonna hafta bail out... Yar har! I be
kiddin'! Just kiddin'! Don't jump!
Seems like ...be a bit
interested in . Be I right?
Ye be taxin' me patience! Just come
out and admit ye likes !
Hmmm... Sittin' awfully close ta
... Har! I sees how it is!
and seem ta
be in a good moods. Wonder what
be goin' on thar?
...Sorry. We seems ta have an
abundance o' wind t'day.

26

💬
Remember whene'er you hear this song,
life is a trip full of discovery!
Sometimes your heart tells you when you're in
love. Your tummy too. Both can sure make you
sick.
Don't cry about dreams that don't come true
today. Sometimes ya needs ta try another way!
I fell in love with a girl who changed me life.
Made her me wife, and I'm still sweet on her.
One day I'll build a house with me own hands,
and we'll just see if it falls o-or stands!
I wrote a name in the sand near the sea.
She's me best girl. Her name is Leilani.
One time I cried till no more tears would flow.
When your heart's broke, that's just how you're
gonna know!
Me wife's the best cook that you'll ever know.
When she makes stew, it's really quite a show!
When I comes home, I likes to watch TV, have
me some time, some time that's just fer me.
Oh, this ain't good-bye. I will see you again.
That's how it goes whene'er yer my friend.
Remember whene'er you hear this song,
life is a trip full of discovery!
Sometimes your heart tells you when you're in
love. Your tummy too. Both can sure make you
sick.
Don't cry about dreams that don't come true
today. Sometimes ya needs ta try another way!
I fell in love with a girl who changed me life.
Made her me wife, and I'm still sweet on her.
One day I'll build a house with me own hands,
and we'll just see if it falls o-or stands!
I wrote a name in the sand near the sea.
She's me best girl. Her name is Leilani.
One time I cried till no more tears would flow.
When your heart's broke, that's just how you're
gonna know!
Me wife's the best cook that you'll ever know.
When she makes stew, it's really quite a show!
When I comes home, I likes to watch TV, have
me some time, some time that's just fer me.
Oh, this ain't good-bye. I will see you again.
That's how it goes whene'er yer my friend.

27

💬
This world spins 'round, but I be here to stay.
And I gots dreams I'll follow some fine day.
You listen well. Kapp'n don't tell no lies.
Kapp'n loves ya! On him you can relies!
Me melancholy flares up, and then I sighs.
I can't denies, me first love is the sea.
Oh, silently, stealthily, secretly,
I toots much more, more than just me horn!
When guys hang out, thar be no end o' fun.
I've got your back, and you're my number one!
Sometimes good things find you when you're
most blue. They could be standing right behi-ind
you!
A piece o' advice: don't play with sti-ink bugs,
'specially when ya got a date comin' up!
Me wife's me life, at least when I'm on land.
At sea there's me boat, on the other hand!
Yo-ho, me eyes! Don't stare at cool new boats.
Yours is fine. Just blink, and look skywise!
Do sunflow-ers need lots of sun to grow?
I guess maybe that's just a superstition.
This world spins 'round, but I be here to stay.
And I gots dreams I'll follow some fine day.
You listen well. Kapp'n don't tell no lies.
Kapp'n loves ya! On him you can relies!
Me melancholy flares up, and then I sighs.
I can't denies, me first love is the sea.
Oh, silently, stealthily, secretly,
I toots much more, more than just me horn!
When guys hang out, thar be no end o' fun.
I've got your back, and you're my number one!
Sometimes good things find you when you're
most blue. They could be standing right behi-ind
you!
A piece o' advice: don't play with sti-ink bugs,
'specially when ya got a date comin' up!
Me wife's me life, at least when I'm on land.
At sea there's me boat, on the other hand!
Yo-ho, me eyes! Don't stare at cool new boats.
Yours is fine. Just blink, and look skywise!
Do sunflow-ers need lots of sun to grow?
I guess maybe that's just a superstition.

28

💬
Oh, don't mind me if I tend to sing off-key.
These motor fumes make me a bit dizzy!
Ain't got no map. Ain't got no place to go.
Ain't got no cares. If I have to, I'll row.
The best time to eat cucumber roll is when you
have one right in front of you!
One time me wife had spinach in her teeth,
but we still smooched. That's par when yer in
love.
I miss me Grams. She used to sing to me,
but then she moved so far away across the sea!
Oh, summertime is good for these boat rides.
Just leave your fate to me and to the tides!
In summer school we never got to sail.
I guess that's why kids do their best not to fail!
Whene'er I'm sad, that's when me wife'll say,
"The sun will rise and warm you today!"
We're almost there! We'll get ya to the isle!
Won't be long! It's just a little while!
Good team right here. We should play ball
sometime. Just let me know. It will be so
sublime!
Oh, don't mind me if I tend to sing off-key.
These motor fumes make me a bit dizzy!
Ain't got no map. Ain't got no place to go.
Ain't got no cares. If I have to, I'll row.
The best time to eat cucumber roll is when you
have one right in front of you!
One time me wife had spinach in her teeth,
but we still smooched. That's par when yer in
love.
I miss me Grams. She used to sing to me,
but then she moved so far away across the sea!
Oh, summertime is good for these boat rides.
Just leave your fate to me and to the tides!
In summer school we never got to sail.
I guess that's why kids do their best not to fail!
Whene'er I'm sad, that's when me wife'll say,
"The sun will rise and warm you today!"
We're almost there! We'll get ya to the isle!
Won't be long! It's just a little while!
Good team right here. We should play ball
sometime. Just let me know. It will be so
sublime!

29

💬
I love me li'l girl, she's me pride an' joy.
Can ye guess her first word? It was "ahoy!"She's grown to love the sea. Oh, she is just like
me! Ties the knots at the docks, makes me so
happy!
Ev'ry guy dreams 'bout girls fightin' o'er him.
But if ye think about it, chances are slim.Girls stick together. They don't likes ta fight.
Not a good dream, ye guys. Really not bright.
I asked fer me wife's hand at sea. (She said
yes.) Since then not a day goes by I don't feel
blessed.Said, "I needs ta raise me ol' crew number."
Told her she was me li'l cucumber.
Hair in a rainstorm, it looks mighty sweet.
Hair in a windstorm isn't so neat.Rain-slick wet hair is so cool, it just can't be
beat. Messy windblown hair, that's not such a
treat.
I showed up fer tryouts in me best sports gear.
Played like I was in a trance; I showed no fear!But when I opened me eyes, I was so surprised!
I'd made the girls' team, and there weren't any
guys!
I can't eat cucumbers without me good mayo.
There's no point without it. Just no way-oh!Me mum's top-secret recipe, oh, it's the best!
We should start a mayo biz, and you should
invest!
Sunlight and moonlight can be rough on the
eyes, but I'll still take 'em o'er yer cloudy skies.Cloudy skies mean storms, and storms cancel
dinner. I guess ye could say that storms make
ye thinner!
Me wife wears perfume. She smells just like
roses. The way to men's hearts is through their
noses.It's not through their tummies, just 'cause some
folks say. A sweet-smelling aroma, I know that's
the way!
Used to sail all year long. Can't do that no more.
Me single days be done. I've put to shore.When yer a fam'ly man, yer fam'ly must come
first. Still get to boat at work. I could do worse!
Don't have much hair to comb, nothing to style.
If I had one lock, it'd be wild!I'd tease it so high, you would not see the end.
I'd want to let kids climb it, but it might bend!
I love me li'l girl, she's me pride an' joy.
Can ye guess her first word? It was "ahoy!"She's grown to love the sea. Oh, she is just like
me! Ties the knots at the docks, makes me so
happy!
Ev'ry guy dreams 'bout girls fightin' o'er him.
But if ye think about it, chances are slim.Girls stick together. They don't likes ta fight.
Not a good dream, ye guys. Really not bright.
I asked fer me wife's hand at sea. (She said
yes.) Since then not a day goes by I don't feel
blessed.Said, "I needs ta raise me ol' crew number."
Told her she was me li'l cucumber.
Hair in a rainstorm, it looks mighty sweet.
Hair in a windstorm isn't so neat.Rain-slick wet hair is so cool, it just can't be
beat. Messy windblown hair, that's not such a
treat.
I showed up fer tryouts in me best sports gear.
Played like I was in a trance; I showed no fear!But when I opened me eyes, I was so surprised!
I'd made the girls' team, and there weren't any
guys!
I can't eat cucumbers without me good mayo.
There's no point without it. Just no way-oh!Me mum's top-secret recipe, oh, it's the best!
We should start a mayo biz, and you should
invest!
Sunlight and moonlight can be rough on the
eyes, but I'll still take 'em o'er yer cloudy skies.Cloudy skies mean storms, and storms cancel
dinner. I guess ye could say that storms make
ye thinner!
Me wife wears perfume. She smells just like
roses. The way to men's hearts is through their
noses.It's not through their tummies, just 'cause some
folks say. A sweet-smelling aroma, I know that's
the way!
Used to sail all year long. Can't do that no more.
Me single days be done. I've put to shore.When yer a fam'ly man, yer fam'ly must come
first. Still get to boat at work. I could do worse!
Don't have much hair to comb, nothing to style.
If I had one lock, it'd be wild!I'd tease it so high, you would not see the end.
I'd want to let kids climb it, but it might bend!
moon


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